Alexandra Rossi is the only daughter of the Rossi family.the Rossi's own one of the most powerful mafia in the world.the Italian mafia.Alexandra's mother Maria married Alexandra's father because of money and power.when Maria was 2 months pregnent wi...
i thought about what Nadeen said and still wasnt sure about it.
i had 2 options. first—leave this place and everything else behind. second—stay here for a year like Nadeen said and we'll see what'll happen.
she was right that i was in a shithole right now and didnt know how to come out of it.
sometimes i think that villain's who think that emotions are weaknesses are right. the only thing that they had brought me till now are pain, destruction, betrayal, depression, trauma and many other things and all those because a few stupid things.
my desperate crave for a family that really loved me or to be more exact a person who would love me the way i am.
these two have a similarity. they both connect to love.
that was what i was craving my whole live. love and i dont want to want it. i despise the feeling of crave for such things more then anything. it makes you destroy the things that you love sometimes.
the image 5 years ago poped up in my head making my heart cluth at it.
i closed my eyes and took in a deep breath to go back to the cool state of myself. a few minutes passed before i got up and went in the bathroom to take a bath. a long one.
i got out of my clothes and stepped in the tub full of water and sinked down till it covered everything belowe my nose.
sometimes i want to be able to turn off my emotion so that i can get away from the feeling of being lost in a labirint and not finging my way out.
and one of those times is right now and i need to find a way to distract myself.
***
i settled with sleeping. i mean what's the best way to get your mind off of something other then this? you dont even think about it anymore while you're sleeping. you might not even be dreaming and that kind of sleep is always peacful.
although i like seeing dreams because sometimes (which is very rare) i see cool dream that i really like but when i wake up i have the disgusting feeling of disappointment.
i just woke up because i was hungry and when i checked the clock i realized that i've slept for some time since it was dinner time already.
i changed into my pinapple PJ's after i decided the i 'd read or watch something.
her PJ's:
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