𝕭𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖘 (𝕯𝖗𝖆𝖋𝖙 𝕿𝖜𝖔)

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊

Kailani

It was eerily quiet.

I didn't understand why it was bothering me though. I'd been on my own for almost ten years. Shouldn't I be used to it by now?

With a sigh I slid off my bed and wandered over to the room that girl Nazifa had stayed in. I stood there for a few moments, just looking in. A cool breeze from my open bedroom window made goosebumps rise on the back of my neck. I shivered and turned to close it. Suddenly, another thought hit me. Nazifa hadn't wanted to go home. So, where had she gone?

"Why do I care?" I asked myself, stopping at the top of the stairs. "I don't even know her." I shook my head and headed downstairs. I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. I really didn't want to go back there. I didn't want to see it. But I hadn't gotten any leads here. I had to go back to Kashan. Back to that forest, back to that cabin. Or rather, what remained of it.

I don't know why I didn't think to go there first. Maybe it was because I didn't want to go back there. It made sense though. To start my search where it all began.

I dug my nails into my arm as I exited the city. It was a bad habit I had picked up not long after escaping the orphanage. The kids there weren't very nice, at least not to me. I never understood why. I wasn't rude to them, and I had done everything in my power to make them my friends.

My nails sunk deeper into my skin, piercing my skin and drawing blood. I stopped and stared down at the blood rolling down my fingertips. It wouldn't be long before it scabbed and became embedded in my nails. Then I could pick it out with my teeth. Another bad habit I had acquired. I had quite a few of those.

The walk was long, which I expected. I mean, I was going over three thousand miles on foot. I could've stolen a wagon, or at least a horse, but I hadn't really been thinking about that as I was leaving. I hadn't really been able to think of anything except that horrid forest. I used to love playing in the forest when I was small. Now, when I looked into one, all I could see was that day. I could feel the heat of the fire as it scorched my back. I could hear myself screaming as I banged desperately on his door. His door. His door.

"Not again." I gasped, doubling over and resting my hands on my knees. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling lightheaded. I could feel tears burning behind my eyelids. As if begging to be let out. But I would not cry. It didn't matter that no one was around to hear or see me. I would not cry.

Realizing I was going to faint if I didn't calm down soon, I slowly lowered myself onto the ground. Looking up at the sky I took a few deep breaths and tried to think happy thoughts. There wasn't much that made me happy nowadays. Closing my eyes I thought about all my favorite foods, candy, the orphanage children. My eyes shot open and I frowned when my thoughts drifted to Nazifa.

I shook my head and stood up, dusting my pants. At least I'd stopped panicking. I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. I didn't have time to rest any longer. It was going to take me a month to reach Kashan. I supposed that was my fault. I had wanted to make sure I was as far away from that cabin as possible.

I dug my nails into my arm again. I knew I probably shouldn't be doing that, but it was the only thing that distracted me. It made the voices quiet down. It was as if I'd pressed a button in my brain and just muted everything. I couldn't help but remember the first time Raksha had caught me doing it.

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I exhaled shakily and slumped against the wall. I hated feeling like this. I hated thinking about it. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to control my erratic breathing.