Feral Obsession

6

6

EMILY’S POV.

I got home close to noon, and trudged in, feeling shitty. All through the drive home, I had hated myself. It felt like I was on the same level as John, and that I was also a cheat.

If he knew about it, he’d be mad. He’d want to continue with the engagement on the ground that we were even.

He could mock me for being all dramatic when I had been the same. Maybe he’d even suggest I’d been doing it behind his back for a long time.

“Wel…” Dahlia was saying, but noticed the depressed look on my face. “Emily, is anything wrong?” She asked, coming towards me, and as she held my arms, my eyes brimmed with tears.

I didn’t even know what I was crying for anymore. Was it for sleeping with a stranger, or realizing I was heartbroken?

“Emily.” She called, worriedly, then led me to the sofa gently, where we sat, and I sniffed.

“John’s cheating on me.” I said, and her eyes widened, as her jaw dropped.

“John’s what? I mean…”

“After everything I did for him, he… he was making love to another woman in his room. He… he didn’t even think of the fact that I’ve loved him with my all, and tried to provide everything I could. I don’t accept his money simply because he’s rich,

“I’m… I’m bent on being an international fashion designer with my own strength, and he knows that. Isn’t that a good quality? It shows that I do not depend on his money. That lady he was sleeping with is definitely after his money. There’s no two ways about it. So, why… why? Maybe I’m not enough, or there’s something…”

“Don’t ever think you’re not enough. You’re more than enough. John is being greedy. Men are that way sometimes. They just have to have everything. You shouldn’t blame yourself for their lack of self control.” She said, and my tears began to fall in quick drops, onto my hands, which were entangled on my lap.

“Since when could he have been cheating on me? Since when had he seen me as a fool? Since…”

“No, no… you shouldn’t think of that. You should know that will only hurt you more. We can’t be sure of when he started doing that, if he started doing that, or if it just happened once, so don’t hurt yourself by trying to determine by yourself. Our minds are not always right. We always find explanations to suit ourselves, and those explanations are not always right.” She said, tucking my hair behind my ear, and wiping my tear-stained face.

“Maybe.” I intoned.

“So what do you want to do next?” She asked.

“Break up with him. I’m breaking the engagement and canceling the wedding. I know I’ve been waiting for this for months, and have made huge preparations, but if John’s cheating, and we’re not even married, there’s no saying he wouldn’t cheat when we’re eventually married.

“Actually, there’s no two ways about it. I’m very sure of it. He will still cheat when we get married. I can’t keep on hurting myself, so I think the best thing is to break up the engagement.” I said, getting to my feet.

Dahlia smiled at me, and gave me a comforting hug, which I wanted to sink into.

After that, I went to take my bath, while she prepared breakfast for me. I had no appetite, but was going to eat. John wasn’t worth me losing my appetite. Losing it for him would be pathetic.

After a long bath, I brushed my hair, and dried it, before selecting a pair of boyfriend jeans, and a pleated pink cropped top. I didn’t want to look in the least affected.