Essays I had to write for school

An Unexpected Meeting

0500 English - First Language, Thursday, 21/3/2024, Descriptive writing

Blizzards of snow englufed the whole world in white. In Jane's opinion, there was nothing better than nuzzling a warm cup of chamomile tea in front of the fiery flames of the fireplace. As her eyelids grew heavy with the vomforting craces of cinders, there was a frantic knocking at the door. She shuffled towards the great oak door ad opened it slightly ajar to peek outside.

A young man, clutching the handles of his briefcase as if someone would come and snatch it away. On his head, a tattered bseball cap from Evergreen highschool, and underneath it, hair that obviously needed trimming. Behind him, a decrepit sky-blue car, now stained with earth, stood steadfast like a soldier.

The ominous feeling of ja mais vu clouded Jane. This was the man who shatteredher heart, the one who abandoned her years ago while her whole world was crumbling like pastries. Door rattling as it slammed into the doorframe, and she grasped her chest, her heart filling with a familiar anxiety from the past.

Time stood still like a steadfast soldier. An icy draft of wind came charging under the heavy wooden door, its frozen fingers grabbing at her bare feet. Yet he remained on the front porch, waiting for her patiently, and the world anticipated spring's return.

Sunlight broke through winter clouds and thawed the snow below. Did it take time? Yes, it did, but the heart of ice melted with the world around it. Change would not happen overnight, yet it was not too late to try. A warm, friendly, welcoming breeze guided wary hands to twist the doorknob. 

The door creaked slightly. offereing a glimpse to the world outside. Time waits for no one. Mustering up tremendous courage, and with one final push, the door was opened.

"Would you like to come in?"

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My teacher's comments:

- vary your sentence lengths

- no dialogue!

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My thoughts

- Overall, I'm not satisfied with how this essay turned out, it was rushed and there are lots of repeated phrases. Oh well. It's just classwork, haha.