The real reason Jay was having these nightmares, was because she was afraid of disappointing others. So much that he convinced himself that they are a disappointment.
The only thing next was to tell Zane, but how? Jay thought it was utterly terrifying to let others know such deep thoughts, and Jay didn't want to be a bother to anyone.
Zane was beginning to worry even more about Jay, she wasn't telling them anything after last night. Zane knew they had to talk to Jay.
ZANES POV:
I walked down the hallway towards Jay's bedroom door, and knocked. Immediately hearing him start to shuffle around, and then telling me to come in.
When I opened the door, I found her sitting in their bed. I sat down on the corner of their bed, but before I started speaking, I saw the corner of a notebook poking out from under Jay's pillowcase. It was navy blue, with a lightning bolt pattern on it so you could tell it belonged to Jay.
"O-oh, that? That's nothing, heh.." Jay awkwardly chuckled, "Just ignore that, ok Zaney?" The freckled specimen tried to force a smile, but I wasn't falling for it.
I sighed softly, "You aren't good at hiding secrets, Jay. What's in the notebook?"
"N-nothing, like I said before!" Jay insisted once more, but this time in a more defensive tone.
Jay started journaling lately as a way to try and manage his feelings, which might help, but she should also really try talking to an actual person about it.
There was a few seconds of silence.
"Jay I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on, please let me help." I put my hand gently on top of hers, hoping for a response.
JAYS POV:
I really wanted to tell Zane, but I didn't know how yet. But since I wrote my thoughts down I should just let them read that for now.
"I want you to help too, and I'm sure you can." I replied softly, slightly smiling towards Zane.
I sighed and flipped to the page I was writing in before, and handed it to Zane. It was just pages worth of these thoughts, but I figured they should see the most recent one. I've been having these dreams keep me awake at night for a little while now, and Zane made sure to read every word.
ZANES POV:
The page was written with slightly messy handwriting but it was still just neat enough to be able to read it.
The page was one giant wall of text, with some wet spots from Jay previously crying while writing a little while ago.
And the page read:
I don't know what's wrong with me, I keep having these dreams that I always end up disappointing people somehow. And they usually feel very real, and they've been making it hard for me to sleep at night. I want to tell my friends about it but I don't know how. I know that they would understand and be there for me, but I still don't know what to say.
Jay looked up at me, and then reached for the notebook to take it back.
"I'm sorry," He said softly "I was going to tell you sooner but I didn't know how, sorry for worrying you.."
Looking up at Jay, I met their eyes, Putting my hand on hers to reassure them. "Don't be sorry, Jay. We all have our own struggles. But I know for a fact you are not a disappointment, we all do." I reassured him, watching a smile spread across the sweet kids face. I smiled as he leaned into my shoulder.
Jay sighed and smiled pitifully. "Thank you for understanding." You could tell he still felt embarrassed from her tone.
"Zane, I'm so lucky to have someone like you to look after me." Jay added on, which made me happy to know I've fulfilled my duties of being protective.
I really loved my friends, and especially Jay. After all, I was created for the purpose of protecting others who cannot protect themselves.
I then looked up at Jay "I was made to protect those who cannot protect themselves." I finally replied, and Jay laughed.
"Haha, Zane, you're a huge dork!" Jay nudged my shoulder and laughed
"I love you so much, Jay." I thought, of course I would help my favorite person. I'd do anything for you.
