I Know Places [Thomas The Maze Runner]

[44: The Time Elle Finally Slept]

When Thomas crawled into bed beside Elle that night, she turned around and smiled at her boyfriend. "Hey," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep," Thomas urged her, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles.

Even though they were both heavily involved in planning the rescue of WICKED's hostages, Thomas and Elle spent most of their time apart during the day. She was often helping sick and injured people, while Thomas took on a more strategic leadership role as Vince's second hand. Aside from coordinating trips to pick up supplies, it entailed speaking to people and figuring out what the community needed next. Sometimes, it felt like the only time they spent together was at night, so Elle would try to stay up until Thomas could join her. He was particularly doting at night, and Elle looked forward to spending that time with him.

Elle hummed sleepily, feeling her insides warm at Thomas's affection. Ever since the first day they arrived at the docks, it had been smooth sailing for them. Regardless of how separate their daily activities were, the two of them were in perfect synchronisation. It was almost like they could read each other's minds; if she was thirsty, he'd drop by and bring her water; if he needed a break, she'd come by and ask him to get a snack. There weren't many young couples in the Right Arm – especially since so many people were lost during WICKED's attack half a year ago – and everyone appreciated seeing how happy Thomas and Elle were together. Those moments were the only times Elle resembled her true self.

"I don't know why I can't get past this Teresa thing," Elle whispered, frustration evident in her voice. "Brenda thinks I'm going to burn out if I don't stop blaming myself for it, but how can I not blame myself? She was my friend, I trusted and defended her, I brought her to the Right Arm, I'm the reason WICKED has all those people." Before Thomas could reply, she added, "And I know she's the real reason why Minho's gone but I have to take some of the blame, don't I?"

"Do you think he would want you to?" Thomas questioned. "Because I think Minho knows you would never do anything to hurt him, and I doubt he blames you for any of it."

"Who knows what they're doing to him there," Elle said, dread settling in her stomach like a heavy weight. "If I had just listened to everyone then he'd be safe. And I know dwelling on it doesn't help anyone, especially not Minho, but it's all I can think about."

"You're allowed to feel hurt and betrayed by what Teresa did to you," Thomas pointed out. "But you can't let yourself absorb all the responsibility. You can't keep isolating yourself because you're afraid of how her actions hurt the people you care about."

Elle sniffled. "But maybe it's better this way," she mumbled.

"It's not," Thomas insisted. "Do you trust me?" Elle nodded. "Then trust me when I say that Newt and Frypan miss the hell out of you. Those shanks go on about you every day, asking me how you're doing and what you've been up to. I know you think you won't hurt anyone if you keep to yourself, but they miss you."

"I miss them too," Elle confessed, glancing at Thomas with tear-filled green eyes. "Newt really needs a haircut and I've been waiting for someone to point it out." Thomas snickered. He wrapped an arm around Elle's waist and hugged her tightly.

"That's because he doesn't trust anyone but you to tell him what to do," Thomas explained the state of their friend's hair. "I'm really glad that you're getting along with Brenda. But the Gladers miss you. Maybe instead of running around all day and trying to fix everyone's problems, you could take a break and let them know you're thinking about them."

"When did you get so wise, Tommy?" Elle wondered, pressing her cheek against his chest and sighing happily.

"Your brilliance must be rubbing off on me," he teased, gently stroking Elle's back. "You don't have to let go of her entirely. You just have to stop taking the blame for what she did."