Clandestine

thirty nine

The man returns a few minutes after an hour. Not that I'm counting. My suitcase is still half full. I have no idea what I want to bring or what I need. Will they give me my own toothbrush? Will I need my own shampoo? What about my sheets or my pillow?

I don't know what is needed, so I bring everything and nothing. Two toothbrushes, but no shampoo. I decide not to bring sheets or a pillow as they might be offended. I throw a few more pairs of clothes into my suitcase, though a few still hang in my closet. It's not as if I had a lot of outfits to begin with. I don't leave the house when I don't have to. Sweatpants and baggy sweatshirts are my wardrobe of choice. But, I also need fancy dresses for my father's parties. So I am either completely casual or entirely formal.

I find my one pair of jeans and throw a few of my less casual shirts into the suitcase. I can't have them thinking I am a slob. I just never saw the point in being uncomfortable.

But I don't about my father's finances, so I don't know if I will be able to purchase new clothes. Surely they will judge me if I dress in sweatpants all day, but I don't have anything else to wear. I certainly can't ask them for money.

Maybe I will have to get a job, as much as that makes me want to curl up in a dark corner.

My father's friend rings the doorbell this time, not sneaking up on me. I drag my suitcase down the stairs and open the door.

I say, "Thank you so much for this. You have no idea how much this means to me and I will find a way to repay you. I will pay for my own food and my own rent and..."

He holds out his hands, "Don't you worry about it. We are family, remember?"

I nod, "Thanks again."

He just smiles and says, "We better start getting all your stuff loaded into my car then..." He stops when he sees my single suitcase, clearly not full.

I shrug, "I didn't know what to bring. I figured if there was anything that I forgot or later needed, I could just come back to get it."

"Of course, of course. It will be easier that when than trying to fit it all in the backseat of my car. Let's go, then."

He starts to leave, but I realize that I left my computer upstairs. I start to call after him, but I realize that I don't know his name. I'm sure he's told me multiple times, but I never cared enough to learn it.

"Hey, um..." I swallow.

He turns around, a smile on the edge of his lips, "Do you actually not know my name?"

I shift from foot to foot. "I'm sorry. With everything that was going on when I met you..."

"It's fine. Mr. Gardinia. But you can call me Andrew."

I try to match the face to the name so that maybe I'll manage to not forget it in two minutes. Andrew has graying hair cropped close to his head. I've only ever seen him in suits, but I know from my father that they are cheap suits, nothing of high quality.His face is clean of facial hair, giving him a younger look than most of the men his age.

I nod and say, "I left my laptop upstairs. I just need to run up there to get it."

He nods and I sprint up the stairs. I didn't leave my computer behind. It's in my suitcase. I just need a second to think.

Do I really want to do this? This man is basically a stranger. He says he is a close friend with my father and my mother and I think I can remember him from a few parties. But I can remember a lot of people from the parties and not all of them are the best company.

He could be a criminal, a murderer, a kidnapper. I don't know anything about him.

Would my father want me to go with him? My father never did the 'Don't talk to strangers' thing. Instead he told me to go with my gut, listen to my brain, and don't forget about my heart. I don't feel any doubt, but is it because I simply want this?