The bad ass and the bad boy

Chapter 30

I woke up feeling like shit my head hurt an I felt weak it hurt to think an grabbed my phone of the stand an it said 12pm

I got out of bed an into my shower I seriously have no clue what the fuck happened last night

'You guys' I said whilst walking out my room a member was stood by my door 'yes ma'am?' He questioned I mentally cringed I know it's respect but I don't like the word at all but I let it slide 'I think you should ask mark' he said I nodded my head an walked towards the  dining area

They were all sat around the table 'Emma your okay' Jordan said I stared at him 'what?' 'Nothing it's okay' William said elbowing him mark walked in 'mark what happened last night my head an my body hurt' I said with a sigh 'nothing,nothing at all' he said I knew something has happened

'Mark don't bullshit me I know when your lying an your lying now' i shouted why can't he tell me?

'You had another one an I injected you' at first I was confused then I realised 'you injected me with that shit? You know the fucking side effects' that's all I got out before I ran to the nearest toilet an puked my guts out jake came a few minutes after an held my hair up

'Sorry babes it had to be done' I heard Mark scream down the corridors jake gritted his teeth I just grunted 'I feel like shit' 'am sure you would' he replied with a smile

I put my head against the bathroom tiles 'do you guys hate me? I mean I might get it over with just tell me you hate me so I don't catch feelings for you  just put me out of my miserly'

He looked at me am stayed quite I tried my best to smile 'I take that as a yes it's okay I hate me too' I replied whilst getting up

I kinda hoped he stopped me but I know that was too good to be true I walked back into the dining room 'do you guys hate me? I can do what that guy did but better' they all just stared at me 'It's okay you should hate me am a monster after all' an with that I walked out

Why did this all happen to me? Don't people think I have been trough enough bullshit but I guess that's just the real world am a monster who should be dead I shouldn't be here I felt tears fall down my cheek

I made my way to my bathroom an pulled up my pants so I could see my thigh their lay all my secrets all my scars held a memory they stayed their reminding me of my past

Making sure I didn't forget how evil this world is don't you find it funny though how we became the people we despised that's what I am a monster

I picked up my razor an made a fresh cut it want enough my body craves more my body craves to feel alive to stop it from being so numb an my hands worked magically cutting lines across my thighs

'Emma?'

Cliff hanger an
I just wanted to tell you guys that you don't have to have a reason to be depressed you don't have to have a doctors note to prove than you have depression or anything else life is not what it seems an you should talk to someone about your feelings Even if your happy tell someone or you should ask someone how they feel if you think someone looks upset ask them what's up anyways thanks for reading