Chapter Twenty-Nine

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A week had passed since the incident with Remus, and although I was still shaken by it, my family was a welcome distraction that I clung onto. None of my brothers and sisters had met Meilin yet, but Mother and Father had caught a glimpse of him.

Right now, Mother, Ai, Lanfen, and Dandan were sitting in my room. Ai was combing my hair while Lanfen and Dandan were looking around the room in wonder, still not used to the luxury the palace had to offer.

"Are you ready to be married in four days?" Ai asked me, continuing to brush my hair.

I shook my head. "Not really. I'm scared of . . . it, in all honesty." I was still scared around Meilin and I was nervous about sleeping with him, which we would obviously have to do on the wedding night.

"It will hurt in the beginning," Mother said as she leaned forward and patted my hand. "But you will be fine."

"I wonder if he'll have concubines," Dandan said as she picked up my silver hairpins that were on my dresser. She examined them and smiled before placing them back in their designated box. "Emperors have lots of wives and concubines, but you'll be the first wife, Daiyu, so you'll have more power than the others."

My stomach soured at that thought. Although I didn't love Meilin like that, I didn't want to share him with other women.

"Don't make that face," Dandan said seriously. "He has the right to have concubines, since he's a man."

"I know," I said softly.

"Don't worry too much about it," Mother said. "You will just have to provide children for him before the others, in order to receive a higher rank than the other concubines and wives. Right now you are beautiful, but as you grow older, he may grow tired of you and seek out younger women." She sighed and moved a few pillows around to get more comfortable. "I saw him and all the rumors of him being exceptionally beautiful are true. A beautiful man like him won't be satisfied with one woman, especially since he's the emperor."

I nodded.

"Is he treating you nicely?" Lanfen suddenly asked. "He's the Dragon, the usurper, the merciless and evil man whose reign is coated with blood and war. Isn't a man like that scary to be around? Is he even treating you properly?"

"He's been treating me quite fairly," I said. "I will admit that he is scary to be around at times, but I know he won't hurt me."

"Do you love him?"

I hesitated. "I . . . I don't know. I care for him and don't wish him any harm, but I'm not sure if I love him." Yet.

"Love and marriage are not always synonymous," Mother said. "I didn't love your father when we married. We barely knew each other, but as time grew on, we both fell in love."

Ai bobbed her head. She was two years younger than me and had gotten married a few years ago. Dandan, who was four years younger than me, was still engaged and hadn't gotten married yet. Lanfen was too young, only being fifteen, and she seemed reluctant about this whole marriage.

"I'm still not sure what I feel about you being the empress," Lanfen said carefully. "I want you to be the empress, but I'm scared if there's going to be some sort of political problems, you know? Like what if someone tries to kill you? Or what if a concubine has you poisoned? This royal life is scary and risky."

I was glad that I withdrew details about last week, my kidnapping, and the deaths I had seen throughout my months at the palace. I didn't want my family to have to worry about me.

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