not so much a badge of honour

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He put his hand up under my chin so he could brush my cheek with his thumb.

I leaned back and his hand dropped. He blinked twice, brow furrowed. "Anyway," he said, getting up and brushing his hands down his trousers, "don't worry about the rent. I'll have a chat with mum and fix with her what she needs." He hesitated, hand on the doorjamb. "See you at tea, odd 'un."

I nodded wordlessly.

Enid and Albie turned up for dinner, and they and Mrs. Lawrence filled the room with chatter. I felt myself a lacuna of silence in the noise. Across the table, Charlie was similarly silent.

Amy arrived, took one look at me, and said, "Oh duckie, you look a tragedy. You're coming out with me tonight." I set down my knife and fork and followed her upstairs, letting her move me this way and that, dress me up in one of her drop-waisted dresses, and roll my hair up into a faux-bob.

As Amy dragged me out of the house, I felt Charlie's eyes on the back of my neck. I followed her down the street to the Mile End Empire, where we bought tickets and made our way into the theatre. 

"No fear of runninh

g into Charlie here," said Amy. "Him and his mates prefers the pub."

"What a relief," I said.

"Two sherry and lemons," said Amy to the bartender. She leaned her elbows against the brown wood bar and scanned the room. "Ah," she said, and waved. "I knew Sheila and Cathy'd be down here."

Cathy, as in, Cathy and Tom? As in, memory in a brooch Cathy? I looked in the direction Amy was, and yep, there she was. No Tom today, though. Amy seemed cheery enough, too. She picked up our drinks and headed for the empty seats next to her friends, while I trailed in her wake.

"Girls, this is Emma, me mum's lodger," said Amy.

The girls said hello. Up close, Cathy had dark red hair, arresting blue eyes, and dimples. Sheila was darker, with brown hair and black eyes.

Amy put herself on a stool and slid my drink over to me. "Hello," I said, sipping at the sherry. I didn't like sherry much at the best of times, but this was mildly toxic.

"So Amy says Charlie just brought you in off the street last week," said Sheila. "What's your story?"

"I, er..." I shot Amy a look. She shrugged. "I came down from Durham to look for work. And I've got a job with Whitechapel Poor Law Union. The Mile End Children's Receiving Home. I started today."

The other two recoiled. "I didn't think anyone as went in there came out smiling," said Cathy.

"It's not pleasant," I said, "but you gotta work, right?"

The other two nodded and muttered sympathetically.

"So has Charlie taken a shine to you then?" said Sheila.

"Jealous?" said Cathy.

"Just because you're fixed with your Tom is no reason to taunt us single girls for daring to dream," said Sheila. "I never thought Charlie'd go with anyone, did you, Amy?"

"He's been turning his nose up at girls since the war," said Amy. "Me and Enid thought he mighter taken up with one of those French estaminet girls."

"Maybe he got high hopes from being a leff-tenant and all," said Sheila. "Fixed his mind on a high class girl." She eyed me.

"I'm not high class," I protested.

"You don't look it, but you talks it," said Sheila.

"If I was high class what would I be doing in Mile End?"

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