Liberty (A Barren Luna)

Chapter 2

The days passed by, but instead of things improving the situation was appearing to deteriorate. I had my mate by my side who would soothe me when I cried at my losses, cried for the children which I seemingly would never hold. I had more flashbacks to my days in captivity during the day, and at night the eyes of my main tormentor stayed taunting me, following me no matter how far or how fast I tried to run in my dreams.

Every night I had the same recurring dream, I was dashing through the forest escaping the echoes of laughter and the eyes that seemed to multiply and appear everywhere. Behind me were the sounds of multiple heavy footsteps of predators looking for me, and every time I would end my dream by getting caught in a trap. 

Vines wrapped around my body and eventually my neck suffocating me, and I would wake up with a violent splutter, beads of sweat fully formed on my face, neck, back, and large goosebumps running along the length of my slender arms. I felt like I was losing control of myself, like I was slipping into madness. Luke seemed to be my only tether to reality, because I felt once he let go of me I was going to slip into the void.

Living in the pack, amongst the people I was meant to be leading became an even greater challenge than before. There existed a thick atmosphere of a shift, a change in the balance of power. I felt ashamed that this was caused by me. Word had gotten out about my fruitless state and stained the minds of the pack members who regarded me pitifully. I had now morphed from a suitable mate for their Alpha to a broken toy ready to be discarded.

Whenever they dealt with me their eyes held pity, voices saying words of encouragement. However I knew that far away, deep in the safety and secrecy of their homes they would comment on my lack of fruitfulness. The questions would multiply in their head, spreading like a disease. They all knew that I had been found after being rescued from captivity, but they did not know the extent of my suffering in the hands of my captors.

I was woman, but not woman enough.

I became a liability, a sign of weakness as the foundations of the pack loyalty to me crumbled, only staying put due to Luke's leadership. Luke stayed by my side, continuously comforting me however I felt awful because while battling an influx of buried emotions he was undergoing stress, and I was meant to be the one to take the stress away. I felt like time was ticking fast, a bomb about to detonate.

My eyes were shielded by my shame and I now viewed the world with a different perspective, feeling numb and dejected. I would longingly watch from the window in our room, seeing the mothers play with their children. 

Being the Luna made me responsible for being present at every birth, and for the next month after my miscarriage there were five births, each one more bittersweet than the other. Every single time I sat through the stages of the birth from contractions to the actual birth, heart twisting at the sight of mother clutching crying babe. My hands itched to hold a child of my own, and within me a deep desire had grown like a wildfire spreading around my body.

----

"Welcome Luna Klair," I said coming down the stairs while wiping my hands on my faded denim jeans. Luke's mother had come to visit, planning to stay for a while. She was the image of strength, raising her son to become a great Alpha while dealing with abuse from her own mate. She stood tall at 6 feet which was my height, salt and pepper hair reaching past her shoulders. When I looked at her, I was looking at the female version of Luke in every way. The years had treated her well and she looked well younger than her age, her beautiful skin glowing while her thin pink lips curled into a small smile.