Infatuated (Unedited)

Chapter 29

Sleep hasn't come easy. Even with me being tucked into the side of Nicolas on this surprisingly comfortable hotel bed. Each time my lids connect with each other I find myself revisiting the proposal I was presented with. It's a big decision. Not one that I can make overnight and while he said he would give me time, I feel like he wanted me to agree to it right away.

I never thought about death before this point. Never considered that it was ultimately my destiny or even that one day I would join my mother on the other side like most people do when they lose someone close to them. The idea of that, seeing her again, holding her, and having her run her fingers through my hair is appealing. I would love to spend eternity with her, planting wildflowers in the sky.

On the other hand, I really wouldn't mind forever with Nicolas. I'm not Simone but a piece of me does feel like I was robbed of that once before. In one way or another I feel like maybe my soul was meant to be infused with his. It wasn't always in this body but from the moment he wiggled his way within it, it's yearned for him.

The issue though is the change itself. If he doesn't know what that change will be exactly, how can I ever prepare for it? How do I know what I'm giving up? Sunlight? The ability to eat strawberry cheesecake in the middle of the night and enjoy every single bite of it? I watched Nicolas eat but to me it didn't seem satisfying and the idea of having to consume blood actually makes my stomach turn. I'm sure when I'm standing on that line of ravenous hunger and kill mode that'll change.

That's another thing. In agreeing to this I would become a killer. I don't want to dwell too much on the negatives but also, my father comes to mind in this. From what I gathered, wolves have been replaced in the Council so they aren't immortal? I don't want to live while my father dies. I know being who I am right now, that is more than likely my fate. Normal people have to bury their parents all the time but I'm a big ass crybaby that's a special snowflake and and don't want to have to do that.

My focus needs to remain on the bright side though. Stronger is the main point of this. Of course...Nicolas being there for it is a huge bonus.

Tilting my head back slightly I looked over his closed eyes and peaceful dark features. Nope. I wouldn't mind seeing that face everyday for the rest of my life. Wouldn't mind at all.

Slowly I raised my hand to reach his cheek just below his left eye and gently trailed the tips of my fingers over his skin. It was warm. Not as warm as mine but warmer than one would think for a vampire. Trailing my fingers down to his nose I felt small gusts of warmth coming from his nostrils. He breaths. Whether it's needed or not I don't know but it still amazes me that he does it. When I came to his lips I used my index finger to trace the shape of them. They are perfect. Everything about him is perfect and for the price of my life, he could be all mine.

Carefully I slid up far enough to level my lips with his. I want a kiss. Just a quick one to lock into my mind so if I do change and lose my humanity I could say I had the chance to be as affectionate with him as I wanted. Upon lowering my lips to his I felt his hand come up around the small of my back and cup my butt.

"The affection will never stop. Not as long as you're with me." he whispered, closing the tiny gap between our lips to peck them.

"You were listening to me the whole time? Even when I was planning to take advantage of you in your sleep?"

I was greeted by a half smile revealing one of his fangs, "I don't sleep but if you want to take advantage of me I can pretend. Por favor, feel free to take my pants off."

While I rolled my eyes I laughed at him, "Again, you'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Si, muy mucho." he purred squeezing my butt to the point of making me squeal.