Warrior Cat Clichès

Part 2 - How to cat

Now.  Before we get into any of these horrible plots.  Before we look at how many gray-furred, blue-eyed she-cats are in the fandom.  Before, even, we start to think about what makes a good character, there is one thing that needs addressing.  

What can and can't a cat do?

I have seen some works (unfortunately, I am guilty of this myself sometimes) where cats do things that they physically cannot because they are cats.  Authors, prepare to be edumacated, because I'm going to put on my Mythbusting hat and solve a few riddles.  Speaking of Mythbusters, they just ended their last season not too long ago.  RIP Jamie and Adam.

Anyway.

Myth #1 - Cats can cry for emotional reasons

Sparkleshine gasped in shock.  A single tear escaped from one eye, perfect and beautiful.  He couldn't do this to her!  Not now . . . Letting the tears flow freely, the shimmering silver she-cat turned away to hide her face.

. . . 

NO.  That's your simple answer.  As a side note, Sparkleshine (*shudders*) will be my example cat for this guide.  Yes, I am very much aware that she is a horrible character.  She will serve as a good example when we cover Mary Sues and such.  Back to the topic at paw, however, cats cannot cry in the way that humans can.  They have tear ducts, yes.  The only times you will see a cat tear up is if a) they've got dust in their eye or b) they are sick.  Cats cannot cry for emotional reasons.  There.  They could sob though, if they could talk.  Since we all write for a book series about talking cats, sobbing and related actions are acceptable.  Use that if need be.

Result: Busted

Myth #2 - Cats can laugh

Sparkleshine let out a light, tinkling laugh.  

"Oh Rowanflight, you're so funny!" she chuckled.

Again, no.  Cats cannot laugh.  They purr.  Cats cannot chuckle.  They hack.  Cats cannot make any human-like sound that would arise from amusement.  Mrrowing and purring are the go-to sounds.  The 'canon' sounds, if you will.  This, however, is one rule that as writers we need to break sometimes to add a bit of spice.  Sometimes you need to stuff reality in order to male sure that your cats are not constantly purring.  If you find that you write 'she purred' or whatever too often, then go ahead and add a few chuckles or giggles.  As long as you know in your head that cats cannot laugh, I'm okay with it if it is nessecary.  But try to stick with purring when possible.  

Result:  Busted 

Myth # 3 - Tails tell no tales

No Sparkleshine here, because this one is mainly about what authors don't do.  A good way to enhance your writing and conveying your character's feelings is through their tails!  Here's a quick guide to tail-talk.

Tail held high; sticking straight up - This kitty is happy and confident.  She'll be pretty chill if you want to play with her.  If her tail-tip twitches slightly in this position, she's definitely happy.

Tail held high; tail-tip curved - This kitty is feeling playful. 

Tail held low; not between legs - This kitty's feeling angry or serious.  Whelp, better get out of her way.

Tail held low; between legs - Scared kitty.  I'm pretty sure we all know this one.

Tail fluffed up - Scared kitty trying to be a big kitty.  'You wanna go m8?  Well . . . BAZAM.  FLUFFY TAIL.  BE AFRAID.  VERY AFRAID.'

Twitchy swishy tail - You have approximately three seconds before she claws your ears off.  Don't ask questions.

Tail wrapped around another cat or laid across another cat's shoulders - These two are friends.  Kinda like me putting my arm around you.  

Another thing to note is that when cats are hunting, their tails swish back and forth.

Result:  Busted

*takes off Mythbusting hat*

And there we have it.  I hope you all feel a bit more cat-wise.  If you disagree with anything I have said, then please tell me!  If I have made a mistake, especially don't hesitate to point it out.  This was made with the purpose of educating the authors of Wattpad.  What good is a source of information if that source is incorrect?  Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that.  See you soon!