Warrior Cat Clichès

Part 8 - Mary Sue? Er . . . no, she's Mariam Susan

**sorry guys its not an update, I just realised that the title was 'chapter 8' instead of 'part 8' like the rest of them and that bothered me so I changed it!**

Woot.  Before we start I want to shout out to the people who keep reviewing and reminding me to continue this because yes, it makes me guilty whenever I see another comment.  

Which is good, by the way.

Today I'm going to go over *dun dun dun* the dreaded Mary Sue.  I've already covered quite a few things that could contribute to your character being labelled as one of these, such as appearance and name.  Now, I'm going to (hopefully) cover the last of these problems, and then use dear Sparkleshine as an example.  At some point I will put up a comparison thing where you can see how far she has come.  Last thing, next time will be prophecies and omens.  

*cracks knuckles*

#1 - You don't like me?!  *gasp*  You must be evil omsc

This happens too often.  Too, too often.  I've been a little bit guilty of it myself.  There should be a healthy balance of cats who both like and dislike your protagonist.  Realistically, there will be personality clashes within the Clan, and that's okay.  There will probably be at least one cat who  isn't an antagonist, but still doesn't like your cat for whatever reason.  For example, Thornclaw wasn't a bad cat, but he still had a few cats who disapproved of him.  On the other paw, it gets boring to read about how every single cat in the Clan despises your character for an absolutely idiotic reason.  I've read one fic where the entire Clan hates the main character because she has the split face thing (I can't remember what it's called but it's like half one pelt and half another). It kind of made sense, but realistically most cats won't give a mousedung.  Blackstar has six toes on one paw.  So what.  Brightheart had half of her face ripped off.  So what.  Tawnypelt and Brambleclaw were the kits of Tigerstar.  There were still a lot of cats who accepted them.  An OC is born with heterochromia.  DEATH AND DESTRUCTION TO ALL THAT GO NEAR THEM.  

Summary: Not all cats who dislike your cat should be villans, but don't make the whole Clan hate them.  Healthy balance.  

#2 - *casually exists in a love octogon*

Too many love stories just don't work in this fandom.  The protagonist often has quite a few love interests, even in stories where romance isn't the genre.  I mean, I get having two or even three possible lovers if your story's main focus is on their relationships, but if romance is merely a subplot, keep it realistic.  It's frustrating seeing the main character preparing to save the Clan . . . and then having to decide which tom she likes the most.  I'd actually like to see more fics where the protagonist just has one love interest, but their relationship gets a lot more development and they have to endure a lot of drama and stuff to make it work.  

#3 - /I wanna be the very best, like no-one ever was/ - excuse me, I am the best

Your seven month old apprentice should not be the best hunter in the Clan.  Period.  Or the best fighter.  Apprenticeships typically last from four to six months, which, if you think about it, is quite a while.  This is for a reason.  There is a lot of stuff that apprentices need to learn, especially since they will have had no previous knowledge about fighting or hunting.  Getting from clumsy kit to trained warrior is no easy task, but Mary Sues seem to find a way around this. Author Powers allow them to be able to catch a huge pile of prey on their first outing and easily beat their mentor during battle training (and sometimes a Clan leader if they're lucky), despite not having much experience.  

There's probably more that I could talk about, but I'll leave it at that for now.  There are things such as mothers dying at birth and orphaned OCs that would fall under this category, but I have already talked a bit about.

Let's fix Sparkleshine - Mary Sue Edition

Sparkleshine is loved by all in her Clan, except for the evil Darksoul, who is evil.  Did I mention he is EVIL?  Anyway, as soon as she was born, everyone knew that she was special.  It was obvious what her destiny was as soon as she fended off five warriors at the age of two moons when ShadowClan (those evil pricks) led a surprise attack on ThunderClan.  When she was apprenticed, it was to none other than the Clan leader, Leafstar.  On her first hunting trip, she managed to easily catch ten pieces of prey, including one or two squirrels which she had to climb a tree to catch.  

Battle training was a breeze, because it was immediately evident that she was a natural!  Every move she was taught was mastered straight away, and in a mock fight with her mentor, she even managed to come up with a few new moves of her own (dem skills amirite).  In her first real battle, she sent almost the whole Clan packing single-pawed.  Because of this, she was given her warrior name at seven moons of age: Sparkleshine.  

*shudders*  I'm going to stop it there.  Now, I'm going to re-write her kithood and apprenticehood to be more realistic and relatable.  

Sparklekit was born as a normal kit in ThunderClan, enjoying the first two moons of her life in relative peace.  When ShadowClan launched an attack, however, she tried to help defend the nursery.  Because of her young age, the warrior whom she was fighting (read: pathetically batting in a vain attempt at heroism) let her go with a scar on her cheek to remember him by.  After that, she decided that she would train as hard as she could when she became an apprentice so that she could be useful to her Clan.  

When she was apprenticed, it was to a she-cat called Littleflame, who was picked because of her shared physical smallness (? can't think of a better way to say it XD) with Sparklepaw.  Although it was difficult at first, Sparklepaw stuck with her battle training and learned moves reasonably well.  Her first hunting trip was a small disaster, although her mentor encouraged her not to lose heart.  In her first battle, Sparklepaw sought out another apprentice to fight, rather than a warrior, and did quite well in fending them off.  She earned her warrior name at the normal time, after her assessments.  

*wipes sweat off brow*  If you made it through all of that, you would be able to appreciate the difference that using a little common sense can do to your cat's story.  As well as deflecting a good deal of Sue-ness, you will also be opening up the opportunity for new plots, struggles, backstories and such to evolve.  

Well, that's all for today!  Tune in next time for prophecies and omens.  Thank you all for reading :)