Moth Among Butterflies

CHAPTER XV

The day so far was just plain annoying. Earlier that day, the Duke of Devonshire decided to fix himself up, to look good, most especially for Esther; He picked his favorite coat, the cleanest of his neck cloths, and his favorite black breeches. He cleaned his teeth for about three times before finally deciding that it was as good as glimmering pearls before shaving (not fully for he knows the women like it) his beard that he had let grow for a while now. Then he brushed his sunset red hair back allowing several stubborn strands loose, forming a happy mess. A look in the mirror of his own masterpiece and all done! There was not so much use of the valet that morning.

But as soon as he knocked on Esther's quarters, a maid informed that she went for an early stroll in the garden. That was grand then! They could have a stroll and give her a tour of his home. And then they could talk about more serious matters. But his excitement melted a little when he saw not a Carlisle but two who walked arm in arm in the gardens. Not wanting to interfere the twins, for they looked like they were in an important conversation, he went to his study to review some letters which were those that he disregarded before and several new ones that just arrived.

After breakfast, he dicided to ask Esther for a tour of his grounds. But he was beaten to it by his own mother! She had asked for Esther's company during lunch, and the beautiful freckled lady agreed immediately! Expeditiously! Why? The duke was staring only at her during breakfast, hoping that she would understand his sentiments. For they always had these communication with their eyes before. He could tell what she was feeling and thinking just by staring at those dark brown pools, and so did she with his gray ones. Perhaps it was because he got so used to her speech impediment that he learned to read most of her actions. But today was different. He could not understand her at all! She smiled at him from across the dining table then looked away! What does that mean? Cavendish needed to calm his want to have her attention for himself, so he decided to go back to his study once again, to immerse himself in business.

Noon came, and Miss Carlisle arranged a picnic lunch. Cavendish was excited. Finally, he could have a stroll with Esther somewhere! He could just accompany her while Miss Carlisle does so with his mother. He knows they liked each others' company. But no! The first thing she did when she got out was run towards the stables! She heard him call her name for sure, for he was a few steps behind her. But she ran. It seemed like she was avoiding him! Why then was she seeking his audience before?! Why is it so hard just to talk to her in his own house!

It was not long before he saw her on horseback. Although the horse only walked slowly, Esther looked like she had a bit of confidence now which was definitely the result of the duke's coaching. But low and behold the succeeding events! The horse had stopped walking, and since Philip followed suit, he was able to assist her. When the stable hand was near enough for her reach, she took hold of his arm and pulled it several times as if imploring that he ride with her. Ride. With. Her! And, to the duke's dismay, the stable hand took no delay and mounted the horse behind her! It was like watching what happened to them, he and Esther, at the outskirts during their second meeting!

He knew that their, Philip's and Esther's, relationship was only alike to that of siblings, and his mind scolded him for feeling the way he does right now: Infuriation, agitation, utterly enraged, jealous. All his cool was gone. So he decided to leave the party to themsleves, saying that an urgent letter is needed for business.

Now he sat on his study, writing vigorously to a Mr. Oswald Curtis of Leeds on crops. But he had to stop, for the recollection of this afternoon's event just gave him the blue devils. He looked to the ceiling and closed his eyes. Esther was different today. She did not talk to him not even a small scribble of a 'hello'. It was probably beacuse they had other company. He even almost regretted inviting Miss Emma Carlisle and Philip to his abode! He was so used to being alone with Esther, and now he's acting like some juvenille foolish child who did not get so much attention. She has spoiled me. He thought. So he had to see her. Right now.

After obtaining information of her whereabouts, the duke was in no time walking towards her quarters. To his bewilderment, the door was not closed. It stood slightly ajar, revealing a freckled lady standing in front of a full body mirror. Cavendish decided to watch this uncanny sight for a while. Esther's hands scooped her hair upwards and formed a mimic of a certain hairstyle before letting it go once again. She then turned to observe her body's profile, sliding her hands down her waist. Her lips were pressed to a thin line and her brows raised in what looked like worry. It dawned upon the duke what this all was about. She was feeling insecure. Why? The woman who cared about none of this suddenly felt like she had to.

So Cavendish dared to intrude then by three knocks. Esther jolted from her position and turned to look at her sudden visitor. "Esther." he called.

The lady was obviously confused. Her face twisted into that of bewilderment.

"I do not like today." He unceremoniously admitted, standing at a proper distance from Esther. He stared at her, his stormy eyes begging for some kind of explanation. But Esther scribbled nothing on her pad, so he went on. "You did not communicate with me today. I felt like you were... avoiding me." Cavendish despised himself for making such an infantile remark. When did he start losing his composure?

Warm hands touched his cheeks the next moment. Esther was before him, and she has decresed the distance between them both. A shiver had gone down his spine at her touch. He missed it. She was shaking her head while she looked at him. And he searched her eyes for answers. Ah, there it was- their understanding has come back.

"Then if not, what is the matter?" he asked.

Esther's hand slowly slid away from his cheek, and her gaze traveled from his face to the floor boards. His inner voice screamed at the exertion. He still wanted her hand where it has been, so he immediately reached for it. But when he had formed skinship, Esther spasmodically rejected it! His hand lingered in the air and so as hers. Both were startled by Esther's reaction. The duke's stupefied eyes stared long towards her. He could not believe what was happening! She has never done this- not to him. He thought he was always...welcome.

With this event, all of Cavendish's solid hope of a 'yes' to his offer of marriage crumbled down. How can she accept him now if she so vehmently reject him? How did his skinship, in so short a time, become so foreign to her? His senses returning, the duke blinked several times before bowing in front of Esther then head back to his study to bury himself in work once again to forget this incredulous scene.

But just when he touched the knob of the door, he heard a sound. It was very faint that he thought it came from his imagination. But as he was trying to come to his own conclusions upon it, the sound came again- hoarse and cracking. 'Seth.' He heard. Who was calling his name? There was no other soul around but him and Esther. What if-? And in realization, he turned to the freckled lady who stood several steps behind him. Her beseeching glassy eyes were directed at him. Then her mouth parted slightly and out came

"Seth."