My Warden (COMPLETED)

Crumbs

He couldn't hide the tremors in his hands as Cullen struggled to get a glass of water down his parched throat. For once he suspected the thirst wasn't the lyrium's doing but the fire's, not that fact helped him much. Lana rested upon a chair, her feet tucked up under her and a pillow in her lap as she stared out through the window. She wasn't better, but she wasn't asking anyone to brand her either. Refusing the bath no matter how many times Leliana suggested it, Lana stripped off the old tunic and slid into a robe. It was far too long for her small frame, hems trailing upon the floor when she rose to her feet, but it didn't reek of smoke that stung their eyes.

As he tossed the glass back, Cullen got a whiff of the smoke upon his own shirt and sighed. He needed to change too, but there wasn't time and he wasn't leaving Lana alone. "Do you want anything to drink?" he asked, his voice tender. Her head lifted from its stupor but she shook it a soft no before laying it back down.

Nodding, Cullen returned the carafe back to the counter and began to walk towards her when the Divine's inner door opened and Detan walked in unannounced. She had a clipboard jammed under her arm and a tray of food in her hands. All manner of comfort foods sat upon the silver tray; cookies, crackers, toasts with a multitude of jams, a sampling of meat and sausages. Anything to try and tempt Lana into eating. Cullen picked the tray out of Detan's overloaded arms and she smiled in thanks. He turned to present hopefully something to Lana, when the elf grabbed onto his arm.

"Ser, if'n you please, there are some, um, matters to discuss," her scrutinizing eyes darted to Lana curled up in on herself, before landing back upon Cullen.

"Can it wait?" he sighed, his arms already straining from the load. His body was reaching the point of collapse itself, and he suspected any attempts at being polite or official would end in him snapping someone's head off.

"It's only, if you're serious in canceling your trip to Skyhold..."

"Yes, that's off the table," he interrupted.

"Right, my issue is we had letters to be delivered regarding your trip and nearly all of them referencing it," she whispered.

Groaning, Cullen tried to not abandon his bare grasp on the waking world before collapsing onto the floor in exhaustion. They'd been planning this trip with a rather terrifying degree of organization, and most of the letters he'd spent the week preparing were meant to head out today. "Hold them back, all of them, until I...figure something out."

Detan bobbed her head, her eyes darting over to the mournful mage, "Very well, Ser. And is there anything I can do for..." she pointed towards Lana but didn't say her name.

Shaking his head, Cullen hoisted the tray up higher, "No. I wish there was, but..." He screwed his eyes tight from his tongue taking command. No one else needed to know of her struggles, not now. "Thank you for your help," he said instead.

"Of course," Detan bowed deep before sliding towards the door and to no doubt run down a dozen messengers.

Lifting the tray higher than his muscles wanted, Cullen tried to put on a smile but it refused to take, "Lana, are you hungry?" Her head raised up and she glanced once over the options before shrugging. "You need to eat, it's been...a very long day," he groaned. Maker, he wasn't cut out for this. He had a temper, a spiteful one that could rear up at the worst times. There was little tenderness mixed into his blood, not when he sat upon the edge himself. Cullen made for the worst nursemaid imaginable and somehow he was the only hope she had. It seemed a cruel joke.

After sliding the tray upon the short coffee table beside Lana's chair, Cullen bent his legs and collapsed onto the footstool. He'd meant to hit a chair, but it didn't matter. It got him off his feet. Exhaustion claimed its prize fast, climbing up his limbs that'd been knotted up tight for over six hours now. Unable to lean back while holding her, he had to sit upright for hours to prop Lana up, which chewed through his lower back. When Leliana left to handle something important, Cullen took to racing through the foreign apartments to find anything Lana might need. In his haste, he stumbled across a few of the Divine's secrets hidden inside drawers he never should have opened. It would have scared his cheeks in embarrassment but he was beyond feeling much of anything in his state. Now his body sagged as if he'd climbed through the Arbor Wilds again, drained of everything inside of him.