The Comeback

THIRTEEN

Four days.

Four days since I told Ryan.

Four days since the last time I talked to him.

I think we can't find the right words to say.

I was going to message him on snap, and you know how you can see if the person your chatting is on, like hat little blue dot? Every time I opened his name it was there, some times it would Bob up and down meaning he's writing and I would wait, but nothing.

And it irritated me.

Like I don't know why, I can't find anything to say to him. It could be a simple 'Hi' but no me and my stupid brain don't work like that.

After I read his letters, I cried until I couldnt cry anymore.

In them, he wrote how sorry he was, how he had feelings for me. Then it would switch to daily things like what he did, how school was going, sports, vacations he even got into his first kiss.

I know you probably wouldn't want me telling you this, but I had my first kiss today. It was Matt's 15th birthday...it was Savannah. I just feel like I should tell you.

And you know theres like a part of me that's like okay? But I don't know what the other part of me is saying.

Schools gone by, I've taken the bus and haven't gone over for dinner. I still talk and hang with group in school it's just Ryan and I don't conversate.

And I believe Savannah is thinking this might be her chance to take Ryan. She hasn't left his side once.

She's like a leech.

Right now I'm watching as she rubs on Ryan's arms, and laughs at everything he says.

Do guys actually like that? Like if something isn't funny to me I'm going to tell you to try again.

We're in lunch, and I'm sitting between Kayla and Quin. They are talking about having a sleepover tomorrow.

"We can get movies, and I'll buy some popcorn!" Kayla beams.

"You and your popcorn."Quin laughs.

"I just really love it. I might open a popcorn shop one day." Kayla smiles.

I look around the table Kyle is deep into his Physics homework, while Matthew is having a conversation with two of his friends who joined our table, I believe their names are Bret and Liam. But it's weird, I think he's looking at me.

I follow his gaze which beside me.

He's staring at Kayla.

Ohh.

Matthew and Kayla?

He used to make fun of Kayla so bad, but not as bad as he did to me.

I wonder if he always liked her, you know the saying 'guys are mean to the girls they like'.

I think that saying is complete bullshit.

If a guy likes me, don't be a dick.

"I'm going to snack line. Wanna go Quin?" Kayla says getting up.

"Sure." Quin says getting up.

"Wait, I'll go with you. I want to by a gatorade." Matthew says standing up.

"Mattu, Wil you buy me a water?" Savannah asks looking at Matt with puppy eyes.

"Sorry, only have 5 dollars left need it for afterschool." Matt says turning and following Quin and Kayla.