Chapter Six

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               A solid hour and a half and two showers later, I was finally devoid of most of the food that had previously been caked onto my body. There was still a hint of flour that I felt hidden in my scalp but I was past trying to remove whatever remnants of the flour that remained. Dressed in warm pajama pants and a sweatshirt (with no shame), I only wanted one thing, and that was to cuddle up by the fire and relax after another long day with Noel.

               As I ran a hairbrush through my damp hair, I couldn’t help but gaze around at all of the picture frames that littered my desk, each holding a memory that made my heart wrench. When was the last time I even saw my mom? I did the math in my head. It had only been two days, but during the Christmas season, two days could feel like an eternity. Especially when spent with Noel Henley.

               I stared at a picture of Piper and I holding hands up in the air as we balanced on a raft at her grandma’s lake house the previous summer, both grinning as we gripped each other’s hand. Right then, I just wanted my best friend to be there so I could talk to her about what was going on. I wanted a familiar face that didn’t confuse the heck out of me like Noel did.

               I shifted my eyes over toward a glossy picture of me as a little girl with a missing front tooth, grinning widely as I stood in front of my parents and Charlotte in front of our Christmas tree. We all resembled your stereotypical happy American family, and maybe we were. Back then. Now Charlotte lived with her own family on the opposite side of the country and my mom was always uptight about everything and my dad’s hair was gray. It was as if the only one in our family who hadn’t changed dramatically aside from the obvious was me.  And maybe I was getting sick of being the same old while everyone around me was changing.

               If everyone else got to grow up and change, why couldn’t I?

               Unless I had changed without realizing, but nothing in my life felt different. Only the people seemed to be different.

               Tearing my gaze away from the pictures that only made me feel worse than I already did, I went over to my bed and kneeled down on my floor until I was laying on my stomach. Holding my breath to avoid inhaling any dust bunnies, I reached under my bed until my fingers met the cool surface of a box that I hadn’t thought about in a long, long time. I brought it out and opened it.

               As suspected, the pink sparkly diary that I hadn’t updated in years was still sitting at the top, a fine layer of dust situated on the cover. I picked it up and flipped to a page that dated eight years ago. At first I skimmed it haphazardly and then all of the memories came flooding back in an avalanche of recollections and I drank in every word as if it was a steaming cup of hot chocolate to warm me up after being out in the snow.

               Today was fun, my nine-year-old self had written. I went outside to ride bikes with Noel and a bunch of kids in our neighborhood came too. Mommy was talking to Noel’s parents when we left and she kept laughing at something they were saying. Daddy was teaching Charlotte how to properly shoot a basketball because she wants to play this year. We all rode bikes to the playground and decided to play hide and seek. We made Mars be “it” because he’s annoying and no one really likes him. I went to hide but Noel told me that he knew a place where we could both hide and not be found. I followed him. He took me to this area in the woods where two trees were stuck together but there was a little space in between for us to hide in. I think we hid in there longer than we needed to because we were the last ones found. After a while we got bored so we started talking, not really caring if we were found or not. Noel said that he doesn’t wanna grow up and I asked him why. He said that grownups don’t play fun games and being a kid is easy. I told him that being an adult is easier because they can do more than we can but he disagreed. He said that he’s never going to grow up or act like an adult because they’re no fun. He made me promise to never grow up too. Then he asked me who in our grade I would marry someday if I had to pick. I told him that I don’t know because boys are gross. He said that he would marry me if he had to choose any girl in our grade. I told him that I guess if I had to pick, I’d marry him too. Then he told me that someday when we get older we’re going to get married. I’m glad that I have Noel because he’d probably be my first choice, anyway. Mommy is calling me down for dinner so I have to go. Maybe someday I’ll write about me and Noel when we’re married.

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