Wife of Vladimir ||Book One||

Her Heart

"The pain never had mercy on me. It only grew, finding new places to drive me mad within. While there was discomfort all over, the worst was in my mouth and chest. It felt like burning knives digging into my body, stabbing multiple times to create a fatality out of me.

Tears stung at my eyes the entire night. Never before had I wished so strongly for death to whisk me away into the painless world that people so often talked about. I wanted to be with my father. If I remember correctly, I even called out for him to save me. Gone was the thought of Rosetta. In those moments, I was beyond selfish. I wanted to die. I only wished for the fire to release me.

As soon as I would become familiar with the pain and it would lessen, it came back again fiercer than before. It left my body numb when it grew strongest in my head. Then, once I would think it was over it would shoot back to my feet and start all over again but worse.

I pulled and scratched at my skin when I could, desperate for the relief of being pain-free. I screamed, but there was no one to hear me. As I clawed at my skin, it eventually got to the point where my nails no longer sunk into soft flesh. Something was changing.

'Rosetta! Father! Please! Help!" I cried out, voice cracking while my bloodshot eyes looked through the darkness, hoping to see a light other than the one upon the desk. It was no use, and this only made the fire laugh and grow. It was as if it wanted me to suffer.

I couldn't feel how much time had passed in those moments. It felt like an absolute lifetime was passing by as I lost all pleasant sensations in my body. During it, I tried to recall all the times I had lived through where I hadn't been in pain. I briefly thought of my dear Rosetta in hopes that the love I had for her, and the love she showed me, would be enough to distract me from whatever was happening, but it didn't work. Nothing was.

When the pain finally left me, I didn't recognize what was happening. The fire stopped laughing and the room fell silent aside from my panting. I could suddenly hear the small creatures outside the door squeaking again. I swallowed, trembling as I heard footsteps from above. Had it always sounded like that? I was still weeping when I heard the gentle thuds of something I couldn't recognize. It was steady, but there were several of them moving together all above me. My body felt numb and I couldn't find the strength to move, only to listen. I laid there, terrified that if I dared try to move that the pain would return to me. I held my breath.

I was a weak man then who didn't know the definition of true pain. What I felt then dulls in comparison to what I feel now. I'd take that pain any day over this new reality that we all are currently facing.

My body betrayed me, exhausted from the ordeal, and forced me to close my eyes. I fell asleep in the darkness of the cave.

My dreams consisted of Rosetta surrounded by darkness and silence. Her colors weren't as vibrant as usual and though she moved her mouth, no sound came out.

When I woke, a strange new energy had overtaken me. The weakness I had felt before resting was gone. Strength surged through my veins and I no longer felt afraid of the pain I had faced earlier. While I remembered it, it was as though I knew it couldn't hurt me any longer.

Nonetheless, I sat up slowly and found the room much clearer than before. I could see through the darkness, though I was confused as to why. No other candle had been lit. I saw bookshelves lining the walls, each filled with a worn spine of books that I had imagined I was too far away to see, but a quick glance at each surprised me. If I focused on where I wanted to look, I could see it clearly. I mumbled the titles of the books to myself before gasping at what had happened. I swallowed again, pulling my attention away. I slowly looked up at the ceiling, finding it rough and round like a cave might be.