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dear diary

this is my thirtieth week in high school and i know i don't have much left. 

my classmates are preparing for a Christmas feast and many are excited about Christmas because... they live.

i wish I could die in a simple way, going to sleep.

but i know that they want to say goodbye.

so i have to understand it.

mom: what do you want for breakfast today?

me: honestly? i want to sleep!

mom: it is not in the menu, my dear!

me: and then what? death?

mom: why are you talking like that! you're alright!

me: mom, i can't walk and i threw up blood. i'm not fine! it's time to go!

mom: no, you're okay! fried eggs right?

me: mom, i'm dying for God's sake! 


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