FULL LOCKDOWN (Book #1)

𝕰𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

I stare. That's all I can do. Just stare. The lurkers have stopped climbing on the buildings. They're now too preoccupied with something else. Someone else. All fighting for that one spot, hunched over, growling, clawing... I don't hear any screams from Ella. I don't even know if she's alive or dead as the lurkers feast on her.. I gag, pushing myself away from the edge.

"D-Dean," Ambers takes a tentative step towards me.

I slowly look up, meeting my line of sight not with hers but with Jace's. "This is all your fault..."

"Dean," Amber takes another step, "l-let's think this through..."

"You're the fucking reason she's dead!" I hurl myself at him but Bray jumps in front of me. "Get the fuck off me, Brayson! He's the reason she's dead! He should be the one getting eaten alive, not her!"

"Dean, the lurkers will start climbing again, stop!" Amber begs.

"I fucking hate you!" I roar at Jace and try to break free from Bray's hold.

"Ease the fuck down, Dean!" Bray demands.

"It wasn't my fault, man!" Jace exclaims. "I told her to get on! She even said to go first! How's that my fucking fault?!"

"Jace," Bray shakes his head at him warningly, "stop talking. You're only making this worse."

"She was supposed to be on the ladder before you!" I scream over Bray's head. "Why'd you haveta go and ruin everything, huh!? I said to get the fuck off me, Brayson!!"

"Stop it, guys!" Amber screams. "It's no one's fault! Just bad timing!"

"'Bad timing'?" I scoff, facing her. "How could you say that, Amber? She's dead!" I point out the window. "Gone! You know what that means?! Gone like Mum!"

"I kn..wait, what?" she stares at me, frozen. "Mum's... Mum's dead?"

Fuck... I relax hopelessly and that's when Bray lets me go. "...I saw her back at the school...in the herd. I was..I was gonna tell you..!" I step forward to her but she steps back. "I just...I just didn't know how.."

"Seriously? And you kept this from me? How could you, Dean?!"

I don't know what to say... Carmen goes up to console her. A raging migraine develops above my right eye. I find a wall and slide my back against it, sitting down with my knees up. The familiar darkness encloses around me. I feel safe in this kinda darkness. Safe and sound.

❖

"Which illustrates to us how classical conditioning can be used to condition an emotional response," the voice of a teacher fills my head.

I must've passed out again in the apocalyptic world. Passed out or sleeping. Are they both the same thing? When the view becomes clearer, I realise that I'm staring out the classroom's window, currently in Psychology class. I blink a few times, my eyelashes are wet like I've been crying. Well, I was, in the apocalyptic world.

"At first 'Little Albert' is-"

"Sir?" I interrupt. "Toilet? Can I?"

He pauses, studying me for a second. "Make it quick, Dean."

❖

In the bathroom, I turn my elbow around and examine it via its reflection after peeling the gauze off it. Damn, that graze looks gnarly, like melted cheese. How is this possible? How is any of this possible? What's real and what's not? The last thing I remember before passing out was how I lost Ella. Wait. ELLA. She's here. I jog through the foyers of Brentwood High, looking through the little windows on all the doors to see if I can spot her in one of the classrooms. To my surprise, I run straight into someone.