Curvy Girls World [Completed]

Alan and His Issues

Alan's POV

    " Are you out of your mind?!" My mom screamed at the top of her lungs. I'm sitting on our sofa while she lectures me.

     " I have worked so hard to make sure we could start over. I thought you were done with this. The fighting, the drinking, the drugs, the anger you had. Now I get all call from your school saying you go into a fight. I didn't raise you to have this anger Alan. I know you're upset about finding out about your dad, but you can't take it out on other people." She stopped to take a breath.

     " I didn't fight him because I was angry with my father. I fought him because we both have feelings for the same girl." I admit to her.

     I have done many terrible things in my lifetime, but I have never lied to my mother. When she asks me if I smoked or have been drinking, I tell her yes. I never lie to her, never. No matter how terrible of things I have done.

     " Please me your not doing this again. Not what you did to Clarissa." She is calm and quiet. I look down and rub the back of my head.

     " She is different mom. She isn't Clarissa. Her name is Angelica, she is funny, and she is beautiful. She is so much more than Clarissa. I never had these feelings I did for Clarissa." I sit back in the couch and look at my mom.

     " Its only been a year. You barely turned things around a month ago. I don't want a girl getting in the way of you getting your life back together." She sits down next to me and rubs my back.

     " Sometimes I wonder what I would have done if I just said no to the guys. She wouldn't have been that embarrassed. I really messed up with her." I sigh and cross my fingers.

     " If you like this girl, then she has to know about Clarissa." My mom pats my back and walks away.

     " Oh, your grounded the entire suspension. Plus a week." I smile and she walks down the hall.

     I go in my room and lay down. I really need to tell Angelica. But not yet. I have already messed things up with her and I think I should give her space. I sometimes have anxiety when I talk about my feelings. I have never felt anything very well with anyone.

   THREE DAMN WEEKS LATER

     They changed Luis' class so now it's just Angie and I. Buy she sits across the room alone. The teacher let's get because he doesn't want anyone around me for a while. Not until I'm okay. Everyone thinks I'm this angry Mexican guy. My new friends have been careful for what they say to me. I honestly have been fine. I just want to start talking to Angelica again. She is what makes me happy to get through the day. I get to see her at the end of it. I have know her for a month and one week now. Yes, I have been counting the days. Don't judge it. Even though Angelica has ignored every text, every hello, and every smile I give her. I still see apart of her that wants to talk to me and be friends still as well.

     " Today we are working on pairs. The assigned person will be on the projector." The teacher explains everything before putting all of the names on the board.

     Only to see that I'm partnered with Angelica. She looks at the board and then looks at me. She sighs and walks over and sits down next to me. Everyone has started and we are sitting here in awkward silence.

     " You start on the format. I'll get together the topic." She says to me without looking at me. I start formatting what order the presentation should be in and I see in the corner of my eye that she is texting someone. I spy and see it's Luis.

     So she has forgiven Luis? I'm over here waiting for her to respond when the answer is clear in front of me. She doesn't want anything to do with me. I can tell by her actions. I go into my phone and text my friend Delilah. If Angelica won't talk to me then I'll just go fuck Del. I've hooked up with her before, might as well. If Angelica is willing to give that asshole another shot then I don't need to care.

     I text Del and tell her to come over. Angelica a bitch for doing that to me. I have tried to get get her back into my life but she has still ignored me.

     " Fuck." I say under my breath.

     " What?" She said to me. I was to scream at her. I make sure to not look at her but I can't help it.

     " You can forgive and forget with him. But you can't give me a chance." I whispers before getting up and walking out the door.

     The teacher tries to call after me but I'm long gone. I left the building, got in my car and went home. When I got home I throw my backpack across the room and it hits the mirror, breaking it.

     " FUCK!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I feel the blood pumping in my veins and my heart rate rising. I don't deserve to be toyed with. I pace back and forth in my living room. I wish there was more to destroy in my house. I go to my room and start punching the walls. I don't stop until I see my blood on the beaten drywall and my head starts to hurt. Did I got my head against the wall? I walk into the bathroom and see another cut formed onto my head and my fists are bloody and busted.

     I'm startled when I hear a knock on my door. My mom probably forgot her key. I walk to the door and open it roughly. Angie is standing there with a blank face. Then she scans my body. Worry flashes and she grabs my hands. I rip them away and back away from her.

     " What happened? What did you do?" She walked in and closed the door.

     " Don't act like you actually give a fuck, Angelica." I say aggressively. She sighs and puts her fingers through her died burgundy hair.

     " I needed more time, Alan. I have known Luis for so long and I have known you for what? A month? He talked to me in person. He came to my apartment with an apology. And what did you do? You texted me constantly. Texting isn't showing me that your sorry. It shows how much of a damn pussy you are!" She shouts at me.

     " Get out Angelica." I look into her eyes and see how mad she is. She doesn't even have a year building. She doesn't have emotions. She's a heartless bitch.

     " Fine. But when you're done being a pouty little bitch, you can talk to me then. I'm over your guys' stupid little fight. Its you who is angry, not me." She finalized and walked out my apartment.

     I sat on the floor and ran my fingers through my hair. I try to breath slower, I need to calm down before I do something stupid again. I don't want her to leave. I don't want to lose her. She is the only thing I care about. My dad is a worthless piece of shit and my mom tries to act like everything is okay, when I know she is dying inside.

     Angelica may not be a open emotional person, but I can tell she is happy when she is around me. She has a beautiful smile and an adorable laugh. I like her and she means so much to me. I don't mean to fuck up things, but that's all I have ever known. Fighting and betting through life like it's a game that I have to try to win. I never had these feelings. Not even with Clarissa.