Cold Fire [SAMPLE]

[18]

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

On the way to school, I check the block of land. I don’t need to take more a few steps onto the grass to realise he’s gone. I’m glad that he’s left, but I can’t say it doesn’t bother me that he got away.

I shrug it off. When he comes again – if he comes again – I’ll work out what to do.  There’s no point worrying about something that I can’t help. I’ll tackle that challenge when it comes.

At school, Caden keeps his distance, except for the occasional glance in my direction. He still hangs out with Branden and his friends, but isn’t intentionally out to make me feel like shit. I know I should still be angry at him for not just sticking by me, but I can’t find it in me to care. He can do what he wants. I’ve managed on my own for most of my life and why would that change now?

When I sit down on the lawn for lunch, I’m alone. It’s not raining; it’s just cold, which I suppose, for some people, is reason enough to pack into the gym. I checked my phone earlier for the temperature – apparently this morning it was ten degrees below zero, and now it’s only five degrees Celsius.

And I still don’t feel anything.

All today I’ve been wondering how it’s possible for me to feel the cold that follows ghost’s everywhere there go. If I can’t feel low temperatures, then how come I can feel cold that ghost’s radiate, and at the same time, feel the iciness of my skin and the atmosphere? It’s like theur presence takes away whatever it is that stops me from feeling extreme temperatures. I don’t remember Caden or Rand explaining this to me.

Then I get angry at myself.

I’ve depended on myself for at least nine years, and now I can’t figure things out without the help of others? Why do I rely so heavily on them for answers? I’m old enough and capable enough to do this without anyone’s help. Besides, look at the crappy job they’re doing of finding Sarah. She’s a just a fifteen year old girl for crying out loud! How hard can it be to find her?

Just before my second class begins, I start to wonder how it is I managed to skip my last too classes on Friday without getting in trouble. Could I do it again?

The teacher has yet to arrive to class, and I take the opportunity to slip out the door and walk quickly down the hall to my locker. I’ve grabbed all my stuff and am out the front door of the school before the bell signalling the start of class goes off.

As I walk through the parking lot, I continue to convince myself that it doesn’t matter. They give me enough shit as it is. What could they possibly do that is worse than they’ve already done? Chuck me in detention with a teacher who would give anything to see me leave?

 Besides, I’ll be leaving in a week or so. They can give me all the detentions they want. I don’t have to go, and I won’t. And then I’ll be gone for good and they’ll finally get what they always wanted. I’m sure winter in this area will seem warm in compared to the temperatures I brought with me.

It’s pathetic that the only way I know how to get answers without anyone’s help is to visit Rand’s place. Here I am, preaching about doing things for myself, and I still need him to gain access to the only source of knowledge I know.

I knock on his door and he looks marginally surprised to see me. “Um, aren’t you meant to be in school?”

“I skipped,” I say shrugging, then step into his house. “Can I use your library?”

He nods. “What do you intend to use it for?”

“Answers,” I say, and when he gives me a pointed look, I roll my eyes. “I’m fully capable of reading and you have a whole library of knowledge just waiting for someone to come along and pick up a book. So, do you mind?”