Delilah Recovered **2017 Watty Winner**

chapter thirteen

Dee woke up feeling refreshed, with a big, juicy smile on her face. That kiss. She kept replaying it in her mind. Not sure what possessed her to make a bold move like that. It was so unlike her, she thought stretching and rolling around in the luxurious bed, shaking off the remaining embers from her dreams.

Leaving no detail at loose ends, Mrs. Fairfax had filled the closet with outfits that were Dee's exact size. She picked out an oversized pale blue blazer with a white tee and skinny jeans. It was her style, but a better version.

Once she was dressed, Dee stood in front of the portrait in her room. The woman staring at her was the Delilah Samuel truly loved. Not her. The fact was, Dee was only a phantom playing tricks with his heart. Realizing this truth, the sunny, cheerful feeling she woke up with quickly turned overcast.

Somehow, she managed to find her way back to the kitchen. Mrs. Fairfax was drinking a cup of tea, humming a tune. When she turned around and saw Dee, she jumped and nearly spilled her tea. "Ah silly me, for a moment, I thought you were a ghost."

Dee smiled. "It must be weird for you. I look like her, but I'm not her."

Mrs. Fairfax set down her cup. She took Dee's hands and inspected her from head to toe. "The cut of your character is solid gold. Hers was a polished brass at best."

On the long drive to Lowood, she checked her phone. There were long, rambling, apologetic text-messages from Jonathan and concerned voice mails from Tabitha Anthea. Jonathan and Thea, she would deal with later. Right now, she had enough on her plate. She was going to see her recently undead mother. Hugging the bouquet she brought for Maria to her chest, she tried to remember the time they had together. All her memories of her mother were cut up, bits and pieces of pictures pasted into one blurry collage.

Dee had a strong aversion to hospitals. She couldn't begin to imagine what a mental institution would be like. When they arrived at Lowood, she was pleasantly surprised. From the outside, it resembled a sorority house with large, white Corinthian columns, soft pink bricks, and a clay, Spanish tiled roof.

As she approached the large mahogany reception desk was almost cheerful, with an arrangement of sunflowers, a flat-screen TV displaying the weather conditions, and the day's activities like a hotel. Then the hospital smell assaulted her; it was two-parts institutional soap and one-part urine. Her heart battered against her chest, echoing in her eardrums. Her mind went blank. For a moment she forgot where she was. Gathering every ounce of strength she had in her, she willed herself to remain steady.

Dee instantly forgot the nurse's name who escorted her to Maria's room. The nurse was skilled at one-sided friendly banter and didn't stop until they reached their destination. The door was slightly ajar. The sound of classical music drifted into the hallway. Before the nurse left her, she gave her an encouraging smile.

Alone in the hallway, Dee took a gulp of air and tapped on the door. "Hello?"

A voice that sounded like a melody Dee once knew and loved said, "Come in."

Dee crept into the room. Sitting in a large wheelchair was her mother, Maria. She was a skeleton. Her hands were bent like branches which she held tightly to her chest. She appeared older than her years, with chunky, wiry grey streaks in her black hair and eyes outlined by shadowy, swollen bags.

Tears instantly filled Dee's eyes, and she dropped the flowers, ran over to her, and embraced her. "Momma," Dee repeated hugging her tightly.

Maria patted her shoulder. "There, there mon petit chaton."

"My little kitten," Dee said. Maria unfurled her arms and hands, wiping the tears from Dee's eyes with the back of her hand. "I forgot that's what you used to call me."

The door slammed shut and standing with her hands in fists at her sides, fury in her eyes, and a tight smile on her face was Tabitha Anthea. "Dee. Outside Now."

Dee stood up. "No."

Maria took Dee's hand and kissed the inside of her palm, then wrapped Dee's fingers around it. A light turned on within Maria, as she tapped into an inner force. "You are Delilah Johanne D'Arc. It's your name. It's your birthright. Use it. And bring only dignity and honor to it."

"Delilah, please we need to talk." Tabitha Anthea whispered-yelled at her.

Maria put up her hand. "Tabitha Anthea, I'm having a good day. I want to spend the few moments of clarity I have with my daughter. You have done your task and have done it well. Now, go. Please."

Delilah saw something she thought she'd never see, Tabitha Anthea backing down. She opened the door. "I'll be right outside."

"Very good," Maria said smiling.

Delilah picked up the flowers, setting them on a table next to Maria. "Please, sit down, we have much to discuss."

Delilah pulled up a chair next to her. Her mind was racing. She had so many questions.

"I did what I did because I thought it was the only way to shield you from our world." Maria squeezed her eyes shut. "Delilah, I must ask of you one thing."

Delilah took her hand. "Yes, anything."

Maria gave her a rueful smile. "It may not be something you have the capacity to give."

They sat together holding hands. "I am asking you to forgive your father, Anthea, our coven. Me. All of us."

Delilah didn't know what to say. She wanted to say yes, of course, I forgive you all for everything. But, she didn't think she could. She wasn't able to get over all the time all the years that had been lost to this lie. It was too much. All this time her mother was only miles away. Now, that time was lost forever.

Maria, reading her thoughts, patted her hand. "Think about it for me. You have a long journey ahead of you. If you can pave the way with mercy it will be less cruel for all involved."

Delilah didn't understand. She changed the subject, hoping the business would be a distraction for both of them. "I need to ask you about our grimoire."

"The missing page." She interrupted pointing to her bed. "Look under the mattress."

She wondered if Maria was having an episode, but she decided to humor her. She reached under the mattress and pulled it up. There was a gold vellum envelope with Delilah's name written on it. She set the mattress down and opened it. There it was.

Maria waved her over. "You must drink the poppy tea to learn the truth. Only then you'll be safe once you recover your past."

"The poppy tea?"

"Yes, drink the tea. Learn the truth."

Delilah shook her head.

Maria repeating it and rocking back and forth. "Drink the tea. Learn the truth. Drink the tea. Learn the truth. Drink the tea. Learn the truth. Drink the tea. Learn the truth."

Delilah felt her heart drop. Maria was scaring her. She wasn't making any sense. She tried to hold her hand, but Maria pressed her sharp fingernails into Delilah's palm. She screamed and Thea ran into the room. She pried Delilah's hand away from Maria. Her palms hurt, there was blood oozing out of the little moon-shaped scratches.

"Your visit is done for the day," Tabitha Anthea ordered. "Now go before you upset her more."

Delilah sat in a small garden on the Lowood grounds. She was paralyzed. The events of the last week came tumbling down on top of her.

She didn't ask for any of this. She didn't want any of it.

There was a tight ball of pain living behind her heart. She always knew it was there. It held her heart welded together. Seeing her mother, Maria, come apart at the seams, right in front of her, the pain, the anguish she had been holding finally detonated. It hurt so much. It felt like a heart attack. She couldn't breathe. She put her hand to her mouth, trying to stuff it back inside. But it was too late for that.

On her knees in the garden, she looked up at the sky. "Please, please help me."