Checkmate | JB

V.

Five.

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↠ November 14: Morning ↞

"I met someone."

My therapist, named Kristen, looked up to meet my thrilled eyes. I was unsure whether or not to tell her about this because I already knew what she was going to tell me once she heard it all but at the same time, I think Kristen was the only person I could really see myself talking to about her.

"I'm happy for you," Kristen looked at me with a smile, "Tell me more about this particular someone."

"She's everything any man wants in a girl. She's beautiful, exotic, charming, brilliant, flirty, smart and everything else in between that." I couldn't help but smirk at the thought of Bella. There was something inside of me that exploded whenever she popped up in my head, perhaps the way she would always give me that teasing smile and flutter her eyelashes whenever she wanted something.

We had been hanging out for four days straight now and I was in no way interested in stop seeing her. My mindset had completely changed and gone from wanting some kind of rebound to absolutely stuck on her. She was happy, light weighted and it was a mysterium to me how she could be that perfect. Always shining when she walks into a room, making everyone around her feel the same way she did about life. Positive.

She was the only girl I had met that had been able to make my mood turn from depressed to relaxed and wanted, in only a second. I've had past girlfriends that have fought their way into my heart, trying to make me change my ways but none of them had succeeded. I was finally in a stable and happy relationship with someone who cared.

"I am going to ask her to be my girlfriend," I said, confident in my words. That way another thing about her, I had never felt this much confidence in a long time. She had changed that for me and I was forever thankful to finally be able to talk to her and make a few sexual references now and then. It made her laugh, which only increased my level of confidence. "I was thinking tonight, at a romantic dinner."

Kristen smiled again, showing her how happy she was for me, "That sounds very nice. How long have you known this lady?"

"Her name is Bella," I pointed out, letting her know that I wasn't offended by her choice of words but I would prefer for her to use the actual name. "We met seven days ago, exactly."

I watched Kristen take off her glasses and put them on the table in front of me. She looked worried with her eyes furrowed together and her hair being pulled back more than usual. I waited for her to say something but once she finally did, I regretted I had even brought Bella up. I knew I would regret it.

"Don't you think it's too early to commit to a relationship already?" She looked at me with sympathy that made me want to gag. I was trying my best to keep my cool as I tried to find a way to explain to her that this was different. I didn't know anything about her past relationships but I could tell that her love life must not be pretty exciting if she never took these types of risks.

"Maybe," I finally said, "but I'm willing to see where it takes us."

"Well, then I am glad for you. That's great." She smiled again, overly happy for me and I was only now beginning to see where this would end. I had been manipulated by her before, Kristen would tell me all types of things that would get me thinking but she would not get me to change my mind this time. "Make sure you don't get yourself into trouble, your heart does not need another heartbreak and you are not mentally stable enough to get more depression thoughts. It would only hurt you."