21. QUESTIONS

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I woke up feeling uncomfortable and cold. My back was sore and I was all twisted. Noises I had never heard before punctured the morning, birdcalls, fire crackling, and wind through the massive trees that surrounded us. I had imagined these sounds before, fantasized about how it would feel to be out in the forest, but hearing the real thing was a strange experience.

I turned to the sky, realizing that I was still sitting next to him. He had fallen asleep sitting up, his hand still in my hair. I lifted my head and his hand fell with a thud, startling him awake.

“Morning,” he said croakily, stretching his neck. He locked eyes with me and I saw it. That look. Somewhere in the back of my memory I heard, ‘like you’re the only girl in the world’. I looked away.

Everyone else was up. Clara, Alexei, and Apella were huddled together, examining a flimsy piece of colored paper. On the side that I could see was printed ‘Travel the Great Trans-Siberian Railway’. There was a picture of what looked like an antique train on the front, with the phrases, ‘trip of a lifetime’, and ‘family friendly’ written in yellow bubbles.

“What are you looking at?” I asked. Curiosity was getting the better of me, even though I really didn’t want to talk to Apella.

“This is the map we are going to follow,” Apella said.

“So this is your plan?” I said, hoping to God it wasn’t.

Apella patted Alexei’s arm lightly and turned to me. “Alexei used to work in the archives. He found a map in a folder marked ‘Pass Times’. When he noticed the railroad led all the way to Mongolia he, well we—” she gazed at him adoringly, “thought this would be the perfect plan.”

“And then what?” I said, folding my arms across my chest.

She avoided my eyes, looking to the side of my face. “When we find it, if we can make it to the mountains, we might find a safe place to hide over winter.”

I laughed bitterly. It sounded ludicrous. No, suicidal.

Sensing my not-very-well-hidden skepticism, Alexei added, “We can find the railway tracks and then we can follow them. Since we can’t use the reader’s GPS for risk of being tracked, it is the best way forward.” It was the first time he had spoken and it didn’t help my impression of him. His voice was wobbly like he wasn’t used to speaking. He sounded unsure and defensive.

What could I say? I was their captive at this point so I went for an attack. “Yeah, well, if you two don’t stop gazing at each other like that, you’re all going to remember what I had for dinner last night,” I spat at them. They were disgusting. I was truly fighting to keep my stomach calm. Apella blushed lightly and Alexei looked at me like I was some breed of female he had never encountered before. What was the word for him? Genteel.

Joseph chuckled. “Well, let’s get some breakfast into you.”

Deshi walked over and sat next to me. I shifted away from him a little. He just shrugged. He was holding a grey box. He pulled out a tray from the boxHe opened a drawer, tapped a small pill from a jar he pulled from his pocket into the tray and dripped some water into it it from his flask. He replaced the tray and waited. A light on the top of the box turned from red to green. He pulled out the tray to reveal grey mush filled to the brim.

“Breakfast is served!” he said with a wink.

“What the hell is that?” I asked staring at the gelatinous glob wobbling in front of me.

“I made it,” Deshi said proudly, shaking the tray under my nose, “It’s a self-sufficient, rehydration…” he twisted his lips to the side, thinking, “thing-a-ma-jig.”

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