IV. Megan is Hurting

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“Megan!”

She stopped to see Johan waving a hand at her. And he was with Chad, but he wouldn’t look at her. He had his back to her, and he wasn’t turning around like he was supposed to.

“Hey,” she said, walking to them, but stopping just in time to give a good distance between them. “You going to another council meeting?” she asked Johan.

Johan shook his head. “No. Just attended one yesterday. We’ll probably have another one tomorrow, though. What with Valentine’s and stuff.”

She forced out a smile. “Of course. Well, good luck, then.”

“I have to go,” she heard Chad say. “I’ll just see you around.”

Johan looked unsure, looked at her for the briefest of moments she wouldn’t even notice it if she wasn’t really looking hard at him, before saying, “Okay. Thanks, again, man.”

Then Chad walked away without looking back. As soon as he was gone, she felt like someone was squeezing her heart. It hurt.

What is wrong with me? Megan couldn’t understand what she was feeling. All she ever wanted was for Chad to leave her alone and be out of her life forever. But now that he was finally leaving her alone, she felt like her soul was being ripped away from her.

She never knew that once he left her, she would feel a void so big and obvious she might as well drown herself in it. And to think that it was only one Chad-free day was surreal. Or maybe two Chad-free days.

“Are you and Chad in some kind of fight?” Johan asked, and she knew he didn’t intend it in a bad way. He just wanted to know.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. He probably finally got tired following me around.” She forced out a laugh but it came out sounding like she was trying hard not to cry. “Well, it’s about time,” she managed to add.

“I don’t know. Maybe he’s got problems?” Johan gave her a sympathetic look. “Chad is too good for a simple guy. And, yeah, you’re right. It’s about time he gives up. Even if it’s a lot too late.”

“Yes, it is . . .” she said.

. . . too late for giving up, because she felt attached she couldn’t imagine losing him now.

He should have given up a very long time ago, she thought. Because, if he did, she wouldn’t feel like she was losing a big chunk of her life now that he was actually leaving her. She felt like without him, her life would be nothing. She had always known Chad. She grew up with him. A big part of her life involved him. And now, even how much she hated herself for admitting it, she knew that without Chad she couldn’t go on like she normally would.

When Johan left, she continued to stand, her feet rooted on the ground. She couldn’t command herself to start moving. She couldn’t. Not when she was hurting.

The next day, she expected another Chad-free day. She was prepared for it. Yesterday was her practice. The entire day she hadn’t heard a word from him, which was supposed to be great, but it wasn’t. She was kind of missing Chad. And today, she promised herself that she wouldn’t think of him, even though it hurt like hell.

The moment she set her mind on something, she knew that there was no turning back. She was finally getting rid of Chad.

But like hell she would.

“Megan.”

The moment she heard her name, she knew that there was no way she could run away now. And this confused her even more. She thought she was finally moving on. But okay. She had to face him, and this time she would ask him what the heck his game was.

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