Sadstuck

Eridan: Catch some Attention

You know Fef, I've always loved your smile, your laugh. The way you stand so tall against the world. And against me.
You've always seemed so much better than me. Stronger, happier, so carefree.
I've always envied you, but loved you too and hoped you'd see something good in me too. But, I guess there wasn't anything about me that was worth your attention.
I never wanted that smile to disappear. Even if we were just moirails, I told myself it was fine. At least she doesn't hate me. But then, I had the courage to admit my feelings. I thought it was the perfect opportunity.
Then you didn't want to be my moirail anymore. You hated me all those years, didn't you? I was just fooling myself into thinking there was even a chance.
I was left alone. My lusus killed by angels, everyone rejected me.
No matter how much I tried though, no one wanted to fill my quadrant. Not for anything.
I thought once, that since everyone hated me, they wouldn't care if I culled myself. But, it's not easy to hang yourself. I should know, my scarf hides the marks.
Feferi, when I saw you with Sollux, cuddled so close to him. I guess that was the last straw for me. I was angry. At how unfitting I was for you. And, I didn't want to live with you, or without you.

Why didn't you dodge the harpoon? I... I can't believe I did that. It's a joke right? You're just pretending to be dead right? Like you pretended to be my friend?
But... You never moved.

It was done, she wouldn't come back. Maybe I should kill Sollux too. He doesn't deserve her. Not if he's only dating her because of Aradia.
With my wand, I'll clean up this meteor. Until I'm left alone, as it should be.

But...

Kanaya was never dead. And she cut through me so easily. I think she enjoyed it. My last image I could see before it went dark...
Everyone standing, but none of them looked at me. Just as I thought. They all hate me.