The Eyes Have It

Chapter 9: I Found Us

When you're asleep the rest of the world stops, your problems are obsolete and your tears are outdated, there's no pain except for in your nightmares. I love sleeping more than I'd care to admit, when I'm asleep I don't miss him, I don't have the capacity to miss him, instead I lie in bed, absent minded about what's going on around me, the ironic thing is that I can never get to sleep, and I think that's true of us all.

But, even when I've fought my own thoughts to sleep, like an unending war against myself that I have to fight every night, there are circumstances where I can forgive being woken up. Death, that one is easy to forgive. News, it depends on what it is. But, the one thing I never think of is happiness, I could forgive being woken up by my happiness, even when sleep is the only thing that keeps me awake enough to live through the day.

One of those things is calling me right now, just as I'm drifting off, either someone is dead, someone has news that just couldn't wait, or my happiness is calling me. The last one seems unlikely "what?" I grumble into my phone, someone had better be dying, I refuse to get out of bed for anything else.

"I think you should go to the museum" that voice sounds familiar, in my half dazed state it takes me a while to match the voice to a face.

I sit up in bed and rub my eyes "Larry? Where have you been I've been calling you..."

"Everything is fine, but you need to get up, okay? And you need to go to the museum"

I'm too tired for this, the world was so close to being a blur, I was almost numb to the pain that I keep bottled inside, all because I miss him like I'd miss my own heart if it was gone, phone calls and text messages aren't enough anymore, the last time I saw him in person was 6 months ago. I need to hold him, I need to smell him, see him, hear him while he's standing in front of me. Yesterday I was worried, calling people I don't know because no one would answer their phones, I felt helpless, out of the loop, I couldn't do anything to make sure he was okay, and now I have Larry the avoider on the phone being too vague for this time of day "in New York?"

He laughs quietly, I'm glad he's happy, I've been worried sick for days, I should be happy to hear that Larry is okay, but the feeling is lost on me right now, I'm too tired to function "no, the one in London, Ahkmenrah's parents are there, they have something that might help" help what? My sadness? My loneliness despite never being alone except for these moments before I go to sleep?

"I'm confused" I mumble into the phone, if he doesn't stop being vague then I'm going to put the phone down, I can go visit Ahkmenrah's parents tomorrow, it's not like they're going anywhere.

Larry sighs, he must be busy, taking a moment out of his busy schedule to talk to me, that must be why he's trying to convince me quickly, he's on the clock "just... trust me, okay? You'll thank me later"

"Fine. I'll go to the museum at this really inconvenient time of night, when they're closed, oh by the way did you know that breaking and entering is still a crime here?" Why am I so angry? Is it the fact that I'm loosing sleep? My sadness? My worry? Days of worry that only lead up to this phone call? Maybe I'm not angry, maybe I'm just moody, tired, sleep depraved, who knows?

"I called in a favour with the night guard there, she'll let you in. Look I have to go I'm about to deliver some very bad news to the museum board" before I can say anything the line goes dead. Well now I'm at a cross road, looking at the road that leads to sleep and a moment of numbness, and the other road that leads to an uncertain destination. Who needs sleep anyway?

I get dressed quickly after splashing my face with cold water, I'm not ready for the world yet, but it would seem that it has something planned for me, so naturally I have to follow the path laid out for me by Larry, the night guard. I get a taxi and head for the museum, my head rested against the cold window, Londons night life passing me by. This episodic life of mine seems to feel more spontaneous the closer I get to the museum, like I'm being pulled to it. Every night with Ahkmenrah was spontaneous and uncertain, we never had anything planned the day before, everything we did was decided on that day. This feels like that somehow, I have no idea why Larry really wants me at this museum, and it's starting to feel exciting.