Fairy Tale Fail

Chapter 2 - Hello, Rock Star

"Rock Star, two o'clock," Charisse said discreetly.
   "My two o'clock or yours?"
   "Mine, duh."
   I pretended to check the doorway of the cafeteria, expecting a friend maybe, but peeked at the guy we referred to as Rock Star. He was sitting a few tables down from us, having pork steak and salad greens. A girl we recognized was sitting in front of him.
   "Did he see you?" Charisse pressed.
   "No, I don't think so."
   "He's having lunch with Sandra from Client Services," Charisse said casually, pretending not to look too. She was so good at that. "Is she his girlfriend now or something?"
   His name wasn't really Rock Star, of course, but Lucas Haresco. He was one of our officemates, an assistant manager at the Wealth Management team up on the twenty-second floor. Charisse and I found him cute in that Office Celebrity kind of way – sure he worked in the same building, and the same company, but we weren't friends. Instead we nudged each other when we saw him nearby, commented on what he was wearing, and wondered about the girls we saw him with. He was our Office Crush.
   What? Everyone had that.
   Lucas got that code name because had the appearance of a guy forced into crisp shirts and ties to earn a living, but was really, like, a rock star when he clocked out. He always looked clean, and he smelled great, but his hair was a bit of a calculated mess.
   Yes, I had a boyfriend, but this was how Charisse and I bonded – by talking about cute guys in our "area of responsibility." Which we didn't do as much of since I started going out with Don. I missed this, and I felt better about doing it again now that Don was being such an ass.
   "So why haven't you really talked to Rock Star yet, Ellie?" Charisse asked. "We should have done this before when it was easier. I could have helped you."
   I was already on smiling and nodding terms with Lucas. On my first week at work, on casual-wear Friday, I bought a sandwich from the cafeteria deli. He was behind me in the line, and he asked what I was having.
   "Salmon and cream cheese," I said.
   "Is it good?" he asked.
   "When they do it right," I replied.
   He wasn't wearing a tie that time (casual Friday), and a hint of a tattoo peeked from underneath the sleeve of his shirt. I wondered what it was, but was too shy to ask. I didn't know how else to talk to him after that, so I just ended up smiling at him as we saw each other in the halls. When I heard that he smoked, I almost took up the habit just to run into him outside. Almost, but didn't.
   Why didn't I ever talk to him, my friend asked?
   Once I got to know a bit more about Lucas, through office gossip we picked up here and there, he just seemed more and more like someone I couldn't be with. I couldn't even imagine being with someone who got that much attention. When word got out that he had a girlfriend, everyone hated her almost immediately. When they broke up, everyone knew about it. And then when months later the rumors started that Rock Star's Ex had given birth to a baby girl, even I felt bad for her.
   "Um, let's recap," I said, rolling my eyes, "He's out of my league. He has a lovechild. Every time we've seen him have lunch here, he's with Sandra or some other pretty girl or alone, so it's intimidating to approach him in all cases. He's got three tattoos or something, which I won't be able to justify to my mother. And you found out he's agnostic, so how am I going to have my Catholic wedding? And he smokes."
   "I don't think he does anymore."
   "What? How?"
   Charisse, who actually did smoke, shrugged. "I don't see him anymore. He had this routine. He would get coffee from the Starbucks, and then smoke outside. Smoke, sip, smoke, sip. Lately I've been seeing him buy the coffee but go back up the elevator, and not smoke."
   "Since when?"
   "Months." Then she gave me a look. "Does that change your mind about him?"
   "No. Still so many reasons why we're too different. And out of my league, right?"
   "Oh please. You are so much prettier than Sandra. But not that girl from Research though, she is seriously pretty."
   And then we started giggling. "Plus, you know, I actually have a boyfriend. Your friend."
   "What, you can't have new friends anymore?"
   Charisse and I joked about this. She'd offer to ask Lucas for a light next time she found him smoking. She'd start small talk, and I should happen to go to the coffee shop – in full view of the smoking area – to say hello. She used to plan this before I got together with Don, and would occasionally remind me of it even after. I didn't know if this meant anything, if this was a subtle judgment of my relationship. Why was she encouraging me toward a harmless crush, right?
   Wait a second – why was she encouraging me to get to know Rock Star again?
   I didn't know her very long, but I had worked with Charisse for a few years. She was a natural leader, someone everyone gravitated around, especially the barkada. While she was a fun person, she wasn't carefree in the sense that she never planned things. Everything she did was deliberate.
   The part of my brain tied to my self-doubt started tingling. It had gotten a lot of practice since my relationship started. "What's going on?" I asked. "Why do you want me to meet Rock Star again? Is something up with Don?"
   "What? No," my friend said, but she answered a bit too quickly. "I mean, I don't know."
   "What do you mean, you don't know?"
   "I just..." Charisse sighed. "Well, you were going to find out anyway. I heard that Don went out with the guys on Saturday. They played basketball or something."
   This was, of course, the same day that he canceled a Tagaytay trip with me. My hands were probably shaking, and I pulled them down to my lap so Charisse wouldn't see. I could hear Don explaining already – but you agreed to cancel, this was a sudden trip with the guys, the court was indoors anyway – all perfectly good reasons. But it didn't hide the fact that I had officially become the person he canceled on first. It wasn't fair.
   The annoying thing was he wasn't even cheating on me. If he were, I could get mad and leave him. But no. He was just spending more time with our friends. Why should I get mad? It was exactly as it was when we were friends. It was like he didn't have a girlfriend.
   Unconsciously I turned around again, and just happened to see Lucas get up from his table, tray in hand. He nodded at me and I was glad I remembered to smile.

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This is based on how my friends and I had lunch at our first job ever. :) But crushes like this are RARE in the real world. When you find one in your building, you're one of the lucky ones!