Fallout Dreams

ava 08

under saner circumstances, ava would have tried to talk mia out of the party. instead, she embraced the accelerating madness and welcomed them in her home; the mourning frat-friends in ill-fitting black suits and ties chugging beer in the name of gary marsh; the sorority cultists who mistook tragedy for the social event of the semester, some wearing elaborate black dresses and veils, some wearing skimpy black skirts leftover from sexy cat halloweens costumes. the only people missing from the "funeral" were those who actually knew the deceased.

it was mia's idea to cover their furniture in blankets, but now that she had resumed her place as the center of attention, she didn't seem to care how completely her home was defiled.

nolan watched mia from his perch on the kitchen counter, not love-sick as ava first assumed, but disappointed.

ava wondered how these new girls would respond if her sister acted with them how she acted with nolan; not the caffeinated ten-year-old at disney, but the hyper-pensive, straight-A student who could hold her composure at dad's fancy business dinners or protect ava during storms.

caution tape had been repurposed as garland around ava's bedroom door where gari-jean provided guests with tours while bragging in endless run-ons about the night gary vanished.

dean was there too, stumbling through the living room horde and passing out magic mushrooms from a paper bag. his eyeballs sparkled inside gaping, play-dough sockets while his limbs hung gaunt and exhausted from eight straight days of self-medicating fear. a boy in a black tee pinched some flakes from dean's bag, nodded his thanks, and mouthed the word "bro" like blowing a man kiss.

the food consisted mainly of munchies, though gari-jean insisted the twins make their peach-vodka tea. hundreds of red solo cups peppered the party and served as tiny reminders of gary's disgusting habit.

ava clutched her tea (with an extra splash of vodka) and floated through the kids like a spirit, invisible despite her resemblance to the most popular girl at the party.

her gaze drifted along the fireplace mantle, now a shrine of skol cans, pictures of gary at charity events, pictures of gary passed out with dean, a flask of cinnamon whisky, and a bottle of apple-cider vinegar with a label that read, "gary's favorite shampoo." (at least somebody knew him enough to make a joke.)

ava looked at the boys huddled at the window and gawking at the man-eating forest. she looked at the queue of girls extending from the half bath. she looked at the kid decked out in black gloves and oh-so-artsy gas mask serving a mystery drink from a tube attached to a plastic tank strapped to his back. the kid crossed past ava. she extended her empty cup, but he pulled back the hose, shook his head, and walked away.

asshole.

"i got you." dean's voice echoed from the cavern in his chest and he offered the bag of shrooms.

"what'll they do to me?" ava asked.

"different for everybody. you might feel paranoid... you might feel enlightenment. you'll probably see things."

"like what?"

"it's a hallucinogen, so..."

"ghosts?"

"maybe. but you won't be afraid. psilocybin kills fear."

"what kind of fear?"

dean blinked.

ava didn't wait for an answer, but slipped her hand in the bag and pinched a few of the soft flakes.

"listen... we need'a talk about nolan." dean's fingers curled around her wrist. "you gotta either tell my boy you're into him, or you gotta cut him loose. i already lost one friend this week."

ava nodded toward mia in the kitchen. "i think you need to talk to my sister about that."

"oh." dean blinked again, shook his head, and walked away. "make sure you find a partner before you trip," he muttered, "in case you see any ghosts..."

a quick google search told ava she could eat the mushrooms plain, mix them with peanut butter, or boil them for twenty minutes to make tea. the peak high should start thirty minutes after consumption and could last up to four hours.

the flakes tasted like the shells of unsalted sunflower seeds. she noshed them, winced, then swallowed with a swig of peach.

the speakers didn't turn off despite the blaring medley of electric pop. the beat guided ava through the horde as friends flirted, danced, and occasionally talked about gary.

"i heard his brothers lost their SHIT when they found that shirt."

"the real funeral was too jesus-y. baptists everywhere, ya know?"

"it was freaky with no casket... just a giant picture of his face."

"gary march... he was good people."

good people, ava thought and recalled scarlett-with-two-ts.

she pulled out her cell, clicked "mom," and typed the message she should have sent weeks ago. "hey. i haven't been going to school. i lied so mia would go. maybe i'll try again next year. i'm sorry." it wasn't the drugs that made her push send—she was only ten minutes in and couldn't feel a damn thing—it was the need to be honest in a room full of masks.

ava drifted to the front door, then through it, then down the porch steps and in between the criss-cross grid of cars to the far corner of her house. she turned around, stepped back, and stared.

to her delight, the house stared back. it watched her with a trio of wide window eyes and grinned with a porch of wooden teeth. rotten wooden teeth. rotten wooden teeth that ate gary alive and swallowed him whole. trees grew like horns from the back of its head.

suddenly, one of the eyes winked. it was the window on the side of the house; dean and the kid with the mask had become it's temporary eyelid as they chatted together and pointed to the woods.

a motor revved in the distance. it was growing closer—probably already turning into the driveway—but ava's focus was stuck on the house. when her eyes were open, its windows pulsated with multi-colored rings like irises made of rainbow. when she closed them, the windows were still there, burned in her retinas, floating in the dark, still winking. winking because ava and the house were the only two creatures who knew that ava was being protected.

the revving grew louder... then slowed to a stop. "ava?"

she turned.

the rev belonged to a motorcycle.

the voice belonged to jeff.

as ava backed away from her ex, the drugs began to peak.