A Different Kind of Superman

1 | welcome back

Dear future me,
By the time you read this, it will be your first day of school again, and hopefully, you will have grown up to be the strong, independent woman you wanted to be at the start of the summer. If not, you still have time during the school year to learn and grow. You've finally found a group of friends where you belong, so hold them close, and always remember their names. While school may become increasingly difficult, don't be afraid to ask for help; speak out and use your voice. Elisa, work hard because your future depends on this year. This could be your last year. Remember your high school bucket list, what you love to do, and forget about the past. It's irrelevant now, so stay strong. Everything will be okay.

With love,
Your past self

"This is the part where the narrator says, 'But everything was not going to be okay.'" I scoffed at my letter to myself that I wrote at the beginning of the summer. Over the sixty-nine days of summer break, I most definitely did not become a strong, independent woman; I am officially a disappointment to myself.

Snatching a cookie from the counter, I bounced out the door and towards my morning ride. Today, and only today, my sister's friend offered to drive us to school because it was their final first day of high school. As we pulled off the driveway, my younger brother waved to us from his bus stop. The poor kid wasn't getting a ride today.

I wasn't angry for leaving my brother at the bus stop, but I bit into my cookie as if my anger levels reached an all time high. Bits and bobs of the cookie fell on my lap, spilling all over my black and white striped dress. In attempt to get rid of the crumbs, I brushed them to the floor; however, a few of them decided to sneak into my sandals. Cookie crumbs under my feet and the crumbs refusing to shake off? It's the worst feeling in the world.

There were butterflies in my stomach but not like the ones from having a crush. These were the baby butterflies from the nervousness of having to see everyone at school again, all the friends, all the ex-friends, all the people I wanted to forget about. I was physically ready to walk back to the school but not mentally prepared to face the incoming wave of anxiety.

Luckily, this wasn't just another first day of school. This could possibly be my last first day of school at Eastland High. My mind was split in two: one side for focusing on the present, one side for focusing on a future away from here. Don't get me wrong; I love Eastland, but some places could be better.

The car stopped moving, and all of us gripped onto our backpacks before setting our feet on school property for the first time in months. Did it feel good to be back? Well, yes and no. For my sister and her friend, it was their senior year, so they made plans to visit past teachers they loved and missed. Me on the other hand, my favorite teacher from last year moved to the state next door to take a different teaching position.

So I'm back at school, and I get to start the day with chemistry with Mr. Brailles, whom I have not heard highly of from swimmers who had him last year. The one positive of this is being able to have my best friend Liv in class. If we suffer in this class, at least we'll suffer together. Although our friendship hasn't endured many painfully exhausting years of school, Liv made me understand that friendship truly is a matter of quality over quantity. We were the blonde and brunette dynamic duo, ready to take on the world. Her cheerful and bubbly nature made it the perfect match for me when I needed some encouragement to get through the day.

It was still early, so I decided to walk towards the "early kids club" or EKC as it was appropriately named last year. The whole friend group would meet at the area at the top of the back stairway in the English wing, and it was just a place to hang out before the bell rang.