No Place for Females

Chapter Fourteen

Khalesia sat up on her mat. She was groggy, but not because she was sleeping. Sleep had not come to her. All night, she tossed and turned, straining for the sound of vehicles in the distance. Sound could travel for miles in the country. She'd heard nothing.

She was confused about her feelings. Why was she worried? The American could take care of herself. She refused to let Khalesia help her. She was carrying a weapon. Two of them. By now, she had probably disappeared back to the camp from which the Americans were rumored to have come.

Khalesia knew that she and Musa were safer now that the American had left. If those men came back and found that she was here, Khalesia and her brother would be dead for sure. Actually, Musa would be dead and something far worse might happen to Khalesia. She knew that because of what happened to her mother.

Yet she could not shake off the uneasy feeling. She needed to know if the American was still out there. She could not say exactly why, but she felt it was her duty as a good Muslim to ensure that the American was safe. She should have given her more food, although they had so little themselves. It didn't matter now. She would go out and look for the American. If she couldn't find her, at least she would know she’d  done her best.

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she heard Musa snoring softly in the far corner. They both pretended that Musa slept in the same room in order to protect her, but the truth was that Musa was still afraid of the dark. She pretended she was the one who was afraid, so that he could save face.

 She got up slowly and slipped on her shoes. It was dark, but Khalesia knew the house like the back of her hand. Moving around in the dark was not a problem for her. Besides, she knew exactly what she was going for and where it was. She walked into the other room holding her arms out in front of her, just in case.

What she was about to do was crazy. Musa would have a heart attack if he even suspected. But she didn't have time to listen to him worrying. And she was never going to get to sleep if she didn't do this.

After a moment, she felt the coolness of the wall against her fingertips. She doubted if she would wake Musa even if she crashed into the wall. But she didn't want to take any chances.

She ran her hands in circles until she found the edge of the nub of the water skin. She wanted to take it just in case the American was thirsty. She grabbed it and walked outside towards the sheep pen.

How beautiful the sky was at night. It never ceased to amaze her. There was no moon tonight, which made the stars shine all the brighter. While Musa was afraid of the dark, Khalesia revelled in it. No one was around at night. It was the only time she didn't have to wear her hijab. She could let her hair flutter freely in the wind, and run as fast as she wanted. It was the only time she could pretend she was still a little girl.

But she wasn't outside to play tonight. She was on a mission.

In the darkness, Khalesia made her way to the sheep pen, guided by the bleating of the animals. When her hands touched the metal wire, she let her fingertips graze it until she found the wooden nub of the torch. It was their only source of light at night and normally she didn’t even bother. But she was going deeper into the wilderness and there could be snakes or wolves. No matter. She wasn’t afraid even though she knew she should be. She suspected sometimes that something just might be a little wrong with her, not being afraid of the dark at all. But rather than stop and think about it further, she headed around to the back of the house, carefully stepping over the rocks. She had memorized their positions after years of sneaking out. When she was safely behind the house, she lit the torch.

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It was so cold. Where was my blanket? When I reached for it, all I felt was air. Something slithered down my neck and I woke with a start. My cry rang out into the darkness.