CHAPTER NINE

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CHAPTER NINE

            If there is a question, it’s our natural instinct to find the answer. I realize that doesn’t apply on every situation. Sometimes, you’ll just want to stay in your own assumptions, protected from pain that comes with the truth. Unfortunately, Rohan plans to be candid tonight. And as much as I don’t want to hear it is as much as I want to slap myself for being a coward.

            And so, I have no other choice but to bear it. Who knows what I’ll find out?

            “Her name is Andi,” he repeats. “Andi Ferrer. She was my girlfriend for two years and we just graduated from high school just a year ago. We already had plans for college but she had to leave due to some family matters. She went here in the Philippines.

            “At first, it was fine. The communication was stable until one day, she just stopped responding to my messages. I can’t even reach her phone. One day, she sent me an e-mail, saying that she’s breaking up with me. I never accepted it; not without proper explanation. So, I followed her here. I tracked down her old home in Palawan but she was already gone. Nobody knew where she was. After that, hemophagia broke out all over the world. That made it more impossible for me to find her.

            “The war made me more determined on finding her. I kept our photo as a reminder that I shouldn’t give up. I’ll never stop until I’m sure what happened to her. I’ve been wandering for almost a year now, jumping from place to place, camp to camp, hoping that she’ll be in one. But I never found her and I’m losing faith.”

            He pauses and waits for my reaction but my expression remains blank. No matter how I try, I cannot put where I fit in and why he thinks I deserve to know this.

            “When I met you several days ago, it wasn’t really my plan to stay with you. But you kept reminding me of her…somehow, I can’t stay away.” He drops his gaze and my cheeks go numb. So, I was right all along. He was seeing that girl—Andi—in me. This is the first time I hated myself for guessing it right but go on liking him despite of it. The pain could’ve been less if I didn’t suspect.

            “That’s what you want me to know?” I can’t help but to confirm the pain in my voice. I scoff bitterly. “How noble of you to think I deserve this kind of insult.”

            Rohan holds onto his temple. The bandage on his wound from Vaughn’s attack last night slips to the left. “I am not insulting you. You haven’t even heard the other part of it yet.”

            I shake my head. “No, Rohan. I’ve heard enough. If you’ll insist that she and I were the same, then, the hell with you. I have my own identity and I’m not gonna live under the shadow of some girl who dumped you.”

            For a split-second, I see his face fluster. The girl who dumped you. Bullseye. Painful, isn’t it. But I don’t feel triumphant. I can feel the pain, too. I stand up and leave before I do something stupid, like break down and cry which is a weak thing to do.

            I’m at the foot of the staircase when Rohan catches up to me. He grabs my wrist and stops me from ascending. “Let me go!” I say sternly.

            “You don’t really get it, do you?” he says in an indignant tone. He sighs and lowers down his voice. “Remember what Jillian said? The hyena in her story herded because he wants to be good not because the snake told him to. Well, I stayed by your side not because I see Andi in you. I mean, at first, yes, I did and I’m sorry for that. But I also happened to stay because I really wanted to. This has nothing to do with Andi anymore.”

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