Faethfully Yours: Unbound

Chapter Thirteen

I smelled him the moment I woke. The scent lured me from the blackness of sleep, and before I could see anything, I smelled him. But then I opened my eyes. 

Ivan wasn’t there. 

I closed and opened them repeatedly, sure that the next blink would bring a new sight. Only empty ceilings greeted me, and the patchy darkness streaked by light filtering from carelessly closed curtains.  I let my head fall back on the pillow and surrendered to the black of my eyes one last time. If he wouldn’t come to me, I’d go to him… even if just in the figments of my mind.

Pinned under Kheelan’s arm, I inhaled deeply, taking Ivan’s scent into every part of my being.  It ran the course of my veins with a vengeance, and roped itself around my chest until I couldn’t breathe. Feeling trapped, I slid out from Kheelan’s arm and with my eyes closed, followed the trace of him weaving through the air. It was stupid, I know, and I probably looked as crazy as I felt, but…

I pretended he was there—that I was walking toward him, to hold him, to beg him for forgiveness, to just simply look at him again— to tell him that though he’d believed in me, I had failed. Maris had once again proven herself to be the greater opponent. I’d been fooled, I’d doubted him, doubted myself—doubted our love, and had nothing to say for myself. I’d lost it all.

The scent lingered strongest at a chair in the shadowy corner of the bedroom. Whether it was all in my mind, it didn't matter. I was going crazy anyway. It was at that chair where I sat alone, curling into it as if the arms of a lover. “It’s me,” I spoke in quiet whispers to the lingering scent and to no one at all. “I’ve botched this. I thought I was so strong and that I could do this, but I’ve ruined everything… ruined us. You said you’d wait for me on the other side, or else you’d come for me. But I’m already so lost and I don’t think I’m making it through this time. After what I’ve done, I deserve to stay here, without you. I’m so sorry, Ivan.” I pressed my palm against the chair as if to feel his heart beating one last time. “Please don’t come for me. There’s hardly any more me left…” Lowering my hand, I sat there…  just there, staring unseeingly into the shadows for a long time.

A dry knock tore through the silence and my quiet cries. I sucked in a breath and wiped the tears roughly before Kheelan could see them. When I surfaced from behind my hands, he was already awake and standing; eyes alit with alertness as he pulled his shirt on. A finger to his lips, he motioned for me to remain quiet, and without a word, strode to the door. Thankfully he made no notice of my glistening cheeks. I tipped toed behind him and slipped into Elena’s room, in case danger ensured. Closing her door, I paused, dread rooting me to the cold floor. She was gone. The bed was undone, but there were no signs of a struggle. Bowls were intact, as were chairs….  

The front door opened and instinctively I snapped two fireballs into my hands and closed my eyes, seeing the world through Kheelan’s eyes. As if whispers in a dream, what limited connection I felt through him gave me all the information I needed. An emergency meeting was taking place at the Resistance headquarters. Elena was already there, and our presence was being requested. I wondered why she hadn’t told me, why she'd gone alone, but what I heard then not only eradicated all further thought, it made my knees weak.

I sat down slowly on the edge of the bed, hearing the simple words echo in my mind and extinguish the fires in my hands. Tarshish was at war… I knew war was imminent the moment we entered Faerie. The moment I knew who I was and what was within me… but we hadn’t even reached the Tree. I didn’t expect it to happen so fast. I didn’t expect it to happen with Ivan still there. The room spun around me though it remained deathly still.

 The door closed, and within moments Kheelan appeared. Lifting my eyes to him, I could see the heaviness of it all weighing on his shoulders. Regardless of what secrets we each held, we knew the magnitude of the situation.