Flower Child

Chapter Two

   Celeste, Taylor, and I walk towards the entrance of the school. All of us in Amity browns, reds, yellows, and oranges. Bright and earthy colors to match the bright farming faction we belong to.
   "Are you guys excited," Taylor asks, a large smile on his face.
   He looks every bit as Amity as our mother, nothing in me could imagine him as anything but.
   "Excited? Not exactly the word I would use to describe today," I mumble.
   "Of course, I'm so ready to find out," Cel says, ignoring me.
   I stick my tongue out at her and she laughs, shoving my arm lightly. Taylor grins at our antics, happy as ever.
   "What do you think you'll get?" he asks.
   "Amity, for sure," Cel answers, smiling brightly almost as if to prove her point.
   "Yeah, no doubt in that, I think I'll get Amity to," he laughs, "what about you?"
   I open my mouth but the sound of a whistle stops me, the train. I turn towards the sound, seeing it approach. I forget all about Taylor's question as I watch them, the Dauntless. They jump off the train, some rolling to absorb the shock, others just running forward. They're  all smiling, laughing, truly happy.
   "Mor, you're staring," Cel whispers.
   "Yeah?" I ask, not really caring.
   "Come on little miss longing," Taylor grabs my arm, "lets get to class."
   I slowly turn back to the school, my brother pulling me to the front doors. Classes would be cut short today, all happening before lunch, and then after, the tests.
   We get just inside the school and stop, looking at each other. Today, would decide our fate.
   "I guess, I'll see you guys at lunch," Taylor says.
   "Yeah," Cel says.
   I nod, "yeah, I guess so."
   Cel grabs my hand, and Taylor's, "don't worry guys, it'll be fine."
   I grab Taylor's hand, "yeah. We got this."

   Lunchtime finally came around, and I felt like I was going to be sick. The rest of the sixteen year olds in my faction were happily talking, playing games, singing, but I sat over by the wall, alone.
   Ten names are called at a time, the kids go to the rooms, and then come back, pale and silent. My last name starts with an S, Snow, so I have some time, but that almost makes it worse. Sitting here, watching a clock tick down the seconds until my fate is decided, it does nothing to soothe my nerves.
   I remember last year, I fell just below the cut, my Birthday a week after the test, so I watched all the sixteen year olds leave the school pale and silent after school, now it would be my turn.
   "Hey there Flower Child, why so glum?" a Dauntless boy asks me.
   I turn my head towards the boy, clad in black from head to toe, his dark brown eyes, kind and welcoming. He looks like he could get Amity, the smile he wears looks near identical to the ones at the table a few paces away from us.
   "Nerves."
   He sits down next to me, "yeah, who here doesn't have them right now?"
   "The ones that know where they belong," I chuckle humorlessly, "the ones who belong."
   "Do any of us really know," he asks.
   I turn and look at him, "do you?"
   He ponders for a moment, "point taken, Dauntless is the only place I can see myself in."
   "Exactly," I sigh, "my mom said that I would know, but I don't. How am I supposed to choose the rest of my life when I don't even know myself yet?"
   "That's some pretty deep stuff," he says, smiling, "I'm Uriah Pedrad."
   He reaches his hand over to me, and I accept it, "Morgana Snow."
   "Pretty name for a pretty girl," he smirks, adding a little wink.
   "Flattered."
   "Of course you are," he says with a sweet smile, "I'm charming."
   I laugh, "is that what you call it?"
   "What would you call me," he asks.
   "A flirt," I say, tilting my head to examine him, "yep, that's the word."
   "True," he laughs, it's a nice sound, warm, "is it working though is the question."
   I can't help the smile that's settled on my lips, he is charming, and my nerves are pushed to the side because of it.
   "You're gonna have to try harder than that."
   "Well I guess I can't charm everyone, but you, Flower Child, are one charmer indeed."
   "Is that an actual compliment or another pick up line?".
   "Oh yeah," he nods, "definitely a pick up line. Can you blame a guy for trying?"
   "No, I guess—"
   "Uriah Pedrad," an Abnegation woman cuts me off, continuing down the list afterwards. And the nerves settle back in just like that.
   "Looks like I'm up," he grins, but I could see the worry in his eyes, "wish me luck?"
   "Good luck," I smile up at him as he stands up.
   He breathes deeply and then sets off towards the door, looking back at me once more before he goes. I give him two thumbs up and a smile. And then he's gone, and I'm alone again in my thoughts.
   I look at each group of kids. Starting with the Erudite kids who sat around their table, some reading newspapers or books, others talking to each other about whatever subject they could, smiling. Then, I looked towards the Candor, they all debated with their friends, moving their hands dramatically as if that would prove their point, yet they were still laughing. Then, my eyes found the Abnegation table, they all sat quietly, looking down at their table or at their hands in their lap, some talked, but only a few sentences. Then, I looked at the Dauntless table, rowdy, loud, fun, they sat on tables, armed wrestled, showed off new tattoos. Then, finally, I watched my faction, Amity, singing, laughing, happy, always happy.
   That was the problem, I wasn't always happy, I got angry to easily, I fought to easily. Some days I just wanted to be forgotten, to live in the shadows like the Abnegation, others, I wanted to be the center of attention, be heard, like the Candor. Some days, I wanted to sing, dance, and paint like my fellow Amity, others, I wanted to read and write, learn new things, like Erudite. Most days, I yearned to run and run and run and never come back, to jump on moving trains, to fight, to get tattoos and piercings, like the Dauntless.
   "And Morgana Snow."
   I look up and see the other nine students walking towards the door, and I shakily stand up. I catch Taylor's eyes and he smiles warmly at me, nodding his head as if to say, you'll be ok. He would go in the next group.
   I follow my group out to the hall, where the ten rooms specifically made for the tests were at. These rooms were closed off the rest of the year, always a shadowed hallway where no one dared to travel.
   I looked down the line of kids, all of which fidget nervously. The doors to our rooms open and they all walk in. I take a second, breathing deeply, I'll know where I belong, the test will tell me.
   I step into the room, where a pretty Abnegation woman waits for me. She smiles warmly at me, gesturing towards the chairs. I feel like I'm locked in place.
   "Take a seat," she says, her voice like a bell, musical.
   I gulp, my knees shaking as I force myself to walk towards the reclined metal chair. All four walls of the room are made of mirrors, my reflection surrounding me, showing my tan skin turning pale, my freckles now standing out on my nose and cheeks. I climb onto it, laying back, squinting up at the bright white lights of the room.
   "Nervous," she asks, "don't worry, Darling, you'll do fine."
   I breath deeply, "I can't help it."
   She smiles, reaching over to put an electrode to my forehead, "I know dear. Do you need anything, water?"
   I shake my head, my nerves gripping my tongue. She pats my shoulder, reassuring her as much as she can. She grabs a small glass of clear liquid, handing it to me.
   "Drink this," she tells me.
   I grab it, "I—"
   "It's ok, just drink," she reassures me.
   I nod, breathing out through my nose and lifting the glass to my lips. The cool glass stings as I throw my head back, the liquid sliding across my tongue. I feel the woman take the glass from my hand, and then everything fades, my eyes sliding shut.
   They open back up, and I'm no longer in the testing room, but back in the cafeteria. It wasn't right though, no one was here, and it was snowing outside, wasn't it spring time? On the table in front of me, were two baskets, one with cheese, and the other, a large knife.
   "Choose," a voice of a woman says, as if she was standing right behind me, whispering into my ear.
   "What, why," I ask it.
   "Choose," she repeats, not answering me.
   "Why do I need them," I ask, looking over my shoulder, but no one is there.
   I turn back towards the baskets, "why do I need to choose?"
   "Choose," she yells, making me jump.
   I turn towards her voice, crossing my arms, "tell me why, and I will!"
   "Fine," she says, ominously, "have it your way."
   I spin back towards the baskets, which disappear off the table, and then there is a noise coming from the doors. I slowly turn towards the noise, and I'm met with the sight of a large dog, it's teeth bared as it slowly stalks towards me.
   It growls lowly at me and my fight or flight instincts kick in. My mind flies through each possibility, if I run, it could easily catch me, if I fight, well, I'll become a living chew toy. Suddenly, I'm brought back to when I was seven years old.
   My mother and I skipped through the apple trees, singing a song. Suddenly, we hear a noise, and we stop.
   "Mama," I ask.
   "Shh," she whispers.
   Suddenly, a dog comes through the trees, snarling and snapping.
   "Mama," I scream, hiding my face in her skirt.
   "Shh Morgana, don't be scared, they can sense it," she tells me, pulling me from her skirt, "get low, show you are no threat."
   Get low, show you are no threat. I do just that, slowly lowering myself to my knees. The dog inches closer, and I bow my head, leaning down to touch my forehead to the floor. The dogs nails scrape against the ground as it gets closer, and then, it's hot breath is on my shoulder. I breath deeply, calming myself down.
   It barks in my ear, loudly. I bight down on my lip, hard, to keep my scream from leaping out of my lips. Then, a rough, wet lick goes across my cheek. I slowly sit up, leaning back on my heels, it licks my face again and I giggle.
   "You're not so mean are you?" I ask, earning a happy whine in reply.
   I stand up slowly, still aware that this animal could rip me apart if startled. It nudges my hand with its nose, whining.
   "Not so mean," I whisper, scratching behind its ears.
   "Puppy," a little girl squeals.
   My head snaps in her direction, the little blonde girl wears a white dress, her head adorned with a pink flower crown. She giggles happily and starts to run towards the dog.
   I open my mouth to warn her, but it's to late, the dog is back to snarling and snapping. It bolts towards the girl, and she screams, running away. I jump into action, running after it. I run faster than I have ever run in my life, catching up to the dog just in time. The girl trips, and the dog jumps, it's mouth open, ready to rip her apart, and I dive, my arm held in front of me. Instead of the girl, the dogs mouth clamps down on my forearm. I scream in pain as we fall to the ground.
   And then I'm back in the testing room, but it's empty, the Abnegation woman gone. I stand up, and realize the mirrors do not show my reflection. I walk towards the door, it doesn't lead to the hall, but to a bus, the seats full. I walk towards a pole, holding on tightly so I don't fall.
   Next to me, a man sits, holding a newspaper. I cannot see his face, but I can see his hands, they are covered in burn scars.
   "Do you know this man," he asks.
   The newspaper he holds reads, "Brutal Murder; Finally Apprehended!" Murder? I can't remember the last time I saw that word. Under the headline is a picture of a man, plain and boring, yet something is familiar about him, but it also feels like something bad will happen if I admit it.
   "Do you," he asks more forcefully.
   My heartbeats rapidly, what would happen if I said yes. This was a very bad situation, and I didn't know what to do. Just ignore him, maybe he'll ask someone else.
   "Do you," he repeats again.
   I try to ignore him.
   "Well?"
   A chill goes down my spine, "I don't know."
   "You don't know," he asks, his voice raising, "that's not an answer!"
   "I don't know man," I yell back at him, "now leave me alone!"
   "You know," he yells, "your lying!"
   I glare deeply at him, "I'm not lying, I feel like I do, but I'm not sure. What does it matter anyway, he was apprehended already!"
   "You could save me," he yells.
   My eyes go steely, "there is nothing to save you from, now leave me alone."