The Boy With the Cigarettes in his Pocket

7: Tears and Bonfires

I place my hand on the train window. That's what happens isn't it? There's something so beautiful that you want so much, but there always seems to be something stopping you from having it. I want the deserted Spanish countryside, but the window won't let me.

"Hopefully we make it back before the campsite closes." Jamie says.

"Hopefully," I agree.

"Do you just want to return to your caravan, yeah?"

"It'll probably be best to."

Jamie makes an 'O' shape with his finger and thumb and tries to place it around my wrist. And he succeeds. I blush and look away, although I like it better now that he's actually noticed how small I am.

"You're so tiny," he comments.

"I know ," I sigh and yank my wrist away.

Jamie doesn't say anything, and neither do I. We spend the rest of the journey in silence. 

The walk from the station to the campsite, however, is anything but silent. The Spanish are generally loud people, and love to stay out late. The town has never looked so alive. There are people in restaurants, children running about, beggars sitting on curbs and even a few street performers. I'm tempted to stop and enjoy the atmosphere, but I know we have to get back.

We reach the campsite on time, thankfully, and Jamie walks me back to my caravan. He helps me up through my window and I wave him goodbye before shutting it. I'm much better at being quiet now.

"I've been waiting for you."

I turn around and see my sister looking at me, arms folded in attitude. I freeze. What do I say?

"Who was that?" she asks.

"Jamie," I answer.

"She isn't a girl, is she?"

I shake my head slowly. "No."

Charlotte let out a little squeal, that sounded remarkably like a pig.

"This is so exciting!" she cried.

"I don't get ho-"

"Midnight escapades with a forbidden lover!"

I can tell she's turning it into a plot line of one of the TV shows she watches. You can practically see her making up scenarios in her head. She'll be writing a book soon.

"And neither Mum or Dad know?"

"Of course not," I answer. "And you can't tell them, no matter what."

"As if I'd ruin this!" 

It's obvious she enjoys the situation a lot more than me - or at least the idea of it. I'm pretty sure she doesn't enjoy Jamie's company more than me. 

"Can I just sleep now?" I plead, "It's late."

Charlotte waves her hand. "Sure,"

And she turns the light off and falls into her bed, as if nothing happened.

As I try to get to sleep myself, I can't help but over-think. I realise that Jamie isn't a virgin, and he's done stuff with his past girlfriends, but would he be expecting that from me? Although I think I know Jamie really well, maybe I don't. Maybe he'll pressure me, but then again, maybe he won't.

I fall asleep before I can think up a solution to my scenario.

~*~

I sleep in late the next morning. My family, including Charlotte, have disappeared. I make no effort to find out where they are. Instead, I get changed, and before I can really think it through, make my way to Jamie's.