The End Of The Line

Chapter 6

Third person pov

What the fuck?

Hidan is a pretty smart guy. Or... okay, overstatement. Let's just say he's not a complete and total moron like Sasuke. Even so, he has no idea where the actual fuck he is right now. All he knows is that he's alone and admittedly scared absolutely shitless. Call him shitless all you want, but last time he woke up in a tent, Sasori and Kakuzu had set it on fire and left him to cook. So pardon him for being a little weary upon waking up in one he has no recollection of getting in. It smells and looks new, too. Like, straight out of the packaging sort of a deal. It was.... right, honestly. When was the last time he'd seen a tent without some sort of hole in it?

The universe is against him, Hidan is sure. He's dressed in semi-familiar clothing. It's something he definitely would've worn before the world ended, but you know. That was before. This was now, and last he checked, he was supposed to be wearing really comfortable sweat pants and an oddly flamboyant shirt that Orochimaru had forced him into against his will. Which was extremely creepy, but that's sort of Orochimaru's whole shtick whether he's willing to accept it or not.

So basically he's alone, scared, and has so far spent around five consecutive minutes huddled up in the middle of the tent taking very deep breaths to see if he could pick up the smell of any smoke. He didn't hear talking at all, which heavily implied that he'd been abandoned like a stray dog. Which like, wouldn't be super surprising. They'd tried to do it to Sasori once after he'd gone rabid one too many times but he'd managed to find them pretty fast and had body slammed Naruto into a lake, almost drowning him. Kisame was the only reason the blonde idiot was still alive.

Hidan eventually managed to peek outside, but we're not going to talk about how long it took him to do so. He was immediately filled with an immense amount of horror. What the fuck sort of pocket dimension had he just woken up in? Everything was green. Like. There were plants, and trees. Trees that weren't all burn and sad and tortured and shit. When was the last time he'd seen foliage this thick? Holy shit... had he died? Was he dead right now? He knew those assholes would kill him off eventually! His immortality really must've worn off. Damn.

"Fuck." He muttered to himself, carefully climbing out of his humble abode. He glanced around. Really, what the fuck was this? He vaguely recalled those idiots he'd been following around mentioning something about time travel. Had that actually happened? Because that dumbass fox made tons of cruel jokes about shit like that literally all the time for comedic value and general entertainment. But... well, here he was, standing next to a really nice tent that was, in fact, not on fire. Again, super fucking weird. He was half expecting one of those idiots to hurtle from the trees like a feral spider monkey and fuck his shit.

"...If this is the past, I need to go make some sacrifices." Hidan realized grimly. If he didn't get him immortality back, one of those absolute shit sticks was going to be the death of him for sure this time. "And look for those losers. I guess." 

Hidan cracked his back, not bothering to try grabbing the tent or anything in it, because fuck that. It's definitely not because he's too afraid it'll catch on fire if he dares go back in. Not at all. The only thing he decides to take with him is his beloved scythe, whom he desperately wishes were sentient just so he'd have someone to talk to. Rest of the shit didn't matter. He's ready to re-embrace his cultist ways and become impervious to potentially stupid deaths brought on by his post apocalyptic crew of idiots. He could be immortal again, get decapitated, cut himself in half with a pipe wrench, drown in a vat of ranch-- the possibilities were truly endless. 

He just had to do this. Then, he could start hunting for the rest of his crew.

~~~~~~~~~

"So we're in the past?" Sasuke muttered as he weakly struggled against Naruto, absolutely glowering at the blonde. This accursed limb needed to come off, and it needed to come off now. He'd be damned if he kept it longer than he had to. Naruto was just getting in the way like a fucking idiot. It was just an arm! He literally didn't even need the thing. Cutting it off couldn't even be called a loss, really. What was one limb? Naruto didn't appear to see the point in his reasoning, but Naruto also has two braincells to his name total, so that isn't that surprising.