Not Another Diva

14 - Evidence

You and Me // Niall Horan

Privacy is supposed to be what all couples seek out. It's when all of the physical stuff in a relationship gets heated, right? Your guard is lowered and you can be yourself. You aren't worried about prying eyes or judgement.

One would think, anyway.

On the drive back to Brianna's place, well our place if I'm getting technical, and yes I am getting technical, the privacy we had seemed to have the opposite effect. I've been alone with her more times then I can count, and other then light, simple touches, nothing has happened under the cover of our privacy. It's almost backwards with us.

Actually, that's exactly what it is: backwards. I'm expected to put my arms around her, hold her hand and kiss her when people are around. There's less pressure, if that's even possible, because it's a given that I can do that. I've been the one to initiate every touch, except for the mind blowing kiss during the video. That was all Brianna.

But other then that kiss, I've been the one to reach for her, grab onto her, run my hands along her back.

It's being alone that makes everything more uncomfortable. I don't want to assume anything so I look for signals. The problem is, Brianna seems to crawl into her private bubble the second we are alone. She was quiet and seemed to have her mind elsewhere the whole ride from the trail. And once we got home, she scooped up her bag, smiled and went to her room.

I'm not sure how to process this. Is it her personality or is it me?

To work off the confusion I found myself headed downstairs to the home gym. Twenty minutes on the treadmill didn't help. So now I'm bench pressing sets of ten, hoping to calm down enough to figure things out.

Just as I'm starting another rep, I hear my name.

"Zack!"

It's Bree, and her voice is a complete panic.

"Zack!"

"Hey, I'm down here, in the gym." I call back to her as I stand up and walk to the doorway. I get there the same time she does and we practically collide as she rushes in.

I've seen fear in her eyes before, but nothing like this. She's beyond terrified. Brianna is pale white and can hardly form words.

"This...I don't understand...I can't..." Her breathing is erratic and I start to worry that she'll hyperventilate.

I grab her arms and wrap myself around her, not even worrying about the fact that I'm covered in sweat. Brianna either doesn't notice, which has to be impossible, or doesn't care. I'm going with the latter.

"Just breathe for a second. Try to calm down." I speak quietly, hoping to stay calm myself. As I'm rubbing her back and her arms, I lead her over to the side of the gym where there's a bench seat against the mirrored wall. I nudge her down to a sitting position, then kneel in front of her. That's when I notice the papers in her shaking hands.

After a few slow breaths, she tries to speak again.

"I had to rush to my room. I needed to write. The words were so strong I couldn't stop them from pouring out of me." She pauses to take a breath after her words start to rush. Brianna raises her eyes to mine and I see the fear still so strongly in them.

"It's okay. Just tell me. You were writing a song?"

She nods. It makes me feel something close to relief knowing that she ran from me because she was so filled with emotion that she had to write a song. I mean, that's what a song is, right? All of your emotion on paper. Brianna wasn't running away from me, she was running to her passion. And maybe I had something to do with putting it there.