Never To Fall

The Playboy

My name is Mario Lorenzo Ramirez. Sounds spanish right? But trust me I'm not. Well before I used to tell girls that I just met that I'm 1/4 Spanish, 1/4 Japanese and just 1/2 Filipino. But then so is everyone else on the Philippines. Hahaha.

I'm 18 years old and most people would call me a playboy. Now before you judge me. Lets first define the word.

*Opens google and types "meaning of playboy"

Pronunciation: \-ˌbȯi\

Function: noun

: a man who lives a life devoted chiefly to the pursuit of pleasure

So there you have it. I'm just a devotee to the pursuit of pleasure.

*Opens google types "meaning of pleasure"*

Pronunciation: \ˈple-zhər, ˈplā-\

Function: noun

1 : desire, inclination <wait upon his pleasure - Shakespeare> 2 : a state of gratification 3 a : sensual gratification b : frivolous amusement 4 : a source of delight or joy

So should I explain myself more? A source of delight or joy. Let me just emphasize that for you.

Okay seriously though, I hate labels. I guess that is why I have this habit of defining words I encounter. My friends call me a nerd when I do that.

Pronunciation: \ˈnərd\

Function: noun

: an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person ; especially : one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits

I'm sorry friends. But a lot of people would have to disagree. Namely my ex girlfriends and my teachers. Hahahah.

Why do I dislike labels in general? because it is society's way of trying to define us, to fit us into a limited category.

A way of controlling us and our actions. Playboy, Nerd, Geek. Whatever. Those are mere words that strip us from our own uniqueness as an individual and as a human being.

So I'd rather be called by my name. Or you can call me Louie. Most of the poeple close to me do.

And that is just less people. Mostly family, me, my dad and my two older sister and a younger brother.

Wheres my mom?

I'm not really sure myself. She left us and elope with some guy. My dad refuses to talk about her. Mother is a taboo topic in the house.

I guess that is why I really don't believe that true love does exist. If so then my parents would still be together. If it does my mom would still be here taking care of us.

They had been together for 20 years. I saw my parents happy. What change?

What suddenly change that made her leave her four children without even saying goodbye? If she truly love us or my dad, wouldn't she had given us an explanation? or even just said goodbye.

What is the assurance of love? What is Love?

*Opens google types "meaning of love"*

Pronunciation: \ˈləv\

Function: noun

1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of affection <give her my love> 2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea> 3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love> b (1) : a beloved person : darling -often used as a term of endearment (2) British -used as an informal term of address 4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God 5 : a god or personification of love 6 : an amorous episode : love affair 7 : the sexual embrace : copulation 8 : a score of zero (as in tennis) 9 capitalized Christian Science : god

Definition overload.

My mom leaving left my dad crippled, emotionally that is. He turned cold towards his children. All he does is work. I guess the day my mom left us, I lost both of my parents. So let me ask you. Where is the love in that?