LANCASTER AND MAXWELL ( ✔ )

chapter twenty.

tw: child abuse. if that kinda thing makes you queasy, please beware!

Chapter Twenty.

ARTHUR can't remember the last time he felt his heart be so full.

Each step he takes is lighter, his smile is more genuine, and he's finally not gotta lie about how happy he is. Sure, he's always had a blast with his knights, and Zara is a light in his life in more ways than one, but Sully.

 God, Sully.

Even thinking about the name brings a newfound swell to his heart he can't put into words, and he feels it so intensely that it can bring tears into his eyes if he thinks about it for long. Because Sully is finally his — not that he's never been his — and it feels like he can breathe again. He hasn't felt this good since his mother left, and he doesn't imagine much else that can make him this happy. Even though they are together, it isn't how they both want it, not exactly.

A thing about Arthur is that he's got a terrible sense of self-preservation — the guy forgets that he needs to keep himself safe, sometimes — but when it comes to anyone else, he'll go to the ends of the earth to make sure that they're okay.

Truth be told, if all he had to worry about was himself, he'd probably make mistakes along the way; try to cover his angles and his tracks but somehow fall short. If he was the only person in this equation that he was protecting, the chances of being found out would probably be substantially higher, even if still just as unintentional.

But it's not just about him, and that's where it changes completely. Above all else, it's Sullivan he needs to keep safe, keep happy, and Arthur will do everything within his power to make sure that his promise to Sully is kept.

Because he'd sworn something to him that was both life-changing, but also incredibly dangerous. He's given the Maxwell his word that they'd find a way to make things work between them. That has to cover a lot of grounds in order for it to be possible. It has to mean making sure that no one else discovers their relationship until the day comes when they're ready to come out about it. It also means doing everything he possibly can to make sure that Sully's treated the way he deserves to be treated. 

It also means breaking up with Zara in a way that won't be detrimental to both him and her, and the thought alone makes his head ache with distress, but when he promised Sully that they could finally be together, regardless of what that meant exactly in definable terms, he was promising the kid the entirety of his heart.

A relationship, and a future together, and sticking it out no matter what comes their way. He's just gotta figure out how to do exactly that.

The walk home is both peaceful and tranquil, it's as if the world has gotten a little brighter and a little wider. Hell, even the mild tinge of a hangover he has isn't enough to damper his mood. Arthur is on the fucking moon.

He quietly slips through the front door and goes up the back stairwell as careful as possible because it is nine in the morning on a Saturday, and his house doesn't come alive until at least ten. Going straight up to his room, he shuts the door and sits down at his desk. 

He knows he can't put everything he feels for Sully into words, not really, and he knows he has to do something to get every word that he feels off of his chest. Fumbling through his desk, he finds a strand few pieces of paper and a pen, and he gets to work.

Dear Sully, 

You know I'm not the best when it comes to words, or you, or anything involving my feelings for you that have to be put into words. So I'm writing this letter that you probably might not ever see because I'm hoping that I can make some sense about everything that I'm feeling for you. Let me start off at the beginning.