Started With a Lie

Chapter Thirty-Three

For the lovely @travestea because look at that cover to the side, damn.

Chapter Thirty-Three

I drive home.

            That’s what I do after I leave the hotel. That’s what I do after I leave New York City. And that is certainly what I do after Penny tells me she’s pregnant. I didn’t say anything to her, I didn’t talk. I don’t want to talk or even think about it.

            Pregnant?

            As in there’s a fetus inside her and she could very well be a mother soon. As in that the father just might be Lee or why else would she be telling me? Maybe I’m the one who got this all wrong. Penny isn’t the relationship destroyer—I am. Maybe I read it all wrong again just like with Peter and Karen. But there’s no way Lee and her could’ve gotten together because during the whole last few months I’ve known him, he hasn’t been with Penny. She’s been in France, too. It doesn’t make sense.

            Penny is pregnant.

            It keeps ringing in my ears again and again. It rings in my ears even after I park my car in the driveway and come home. I ignore the house’s horrid and trashed state and just walk inside.

            What if Lee had been seeing Penny? I mean after I abruptly left after his birthday bash and after learning about Penny that one time, he and her could’ve continued their relationship. Lee didn’t come back into my life to tell me he loved me. He came because he realized my mother was in a car crash. We weren’t even official until a few days ago.

            “Hey, Ivory!” Brent is holding a sandwich between his teeth and is dressed in pajama pants and a white shirt. He’s stopped walking by the living room, watching me as I come in. He hasn’t cleaned the house yet and is looking at me like I won’t notice. Normally, I would be furious and act like a nagging mother to make sure he made the place spotless but Penny is pregnant—fucking pregnant—so I just take off my shoes and run up to my room.

            “Ivory?” His voice is confused but I can’t tell Brent anything. He would go punch Lee or something or anyone because that’s how Brent deals with things. And right now I would love to deal with things like that too.

            I run up to my room and am grateful that at least people have left. I lock the door and jump onto my bed. I feel like crying but I won’t, so I just lay on the comforter and stare at the ceiling of my room. I kind of feel numb, which is worse than angry or sad.

            Only one damn word comes to mind: pregnant.

            I’m nineteen. I shouldn’t have to worry about the word pregnant. I shouldn’t have to worry about anything actually except upcoming events like graduation and college. I shouldn’t have to worry that my boyfriend’s—can I even call him that?—fiancee might be pregnant with his baby. My boyfriend shouldn’t even have a fiancee, damn it.

            I should be worrying about what I’ll wear to prom. I should be worrying about getting back college acceptance letters. I should be living a simple life.

            I curl to my side. As soon as Lee walked into my life—well, since I lied my way into his—it’s been a mess. Lies and truth, both spilling out at once, both equally destructive.

            Why couldn’t I have just liked some normal kid from school or something?

            I kick a pillow.