Bed of Roses

Chapter 15

ACT TWO - NIGHT

"Everything is more intense at night."

Chapter 15

You watched the lilac skies of the early morning as the cabbie made his way to your house. To the house you shared with him.

Roger.

You felt dirty even thinking about him - the guilt made your insides freeze, as if liquid nitrogen was pumped through your veins instead of blood, making you only a lifeless vessel, a shadow of who you once were.

You cheated before - but this was different. It wasn't for revenge or anger. It was simply because you didn't want to be loyal to Roger as much as you wanted to fuck Will at a certain moment.

And you regret it.

You realized how hard you regret it the moment Will put his head on the curve of your neck after he's done. He only then noticed the necklace you were wearing. "That's nice", he told you, and you moved your hands so you could feel the pendant against your skin. It was freezing cold.

You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve the necklace. And much less deserved what it meant.

So you got up from Will's bed, looking for your clothes, and put them on in a hurry. "Y/N, are you ok?", you heard Will ask. You didn't even turn to face him. You didn't want him to see you crying.

So you stormed off his rented apartment, and you could still feel him inside you as you ran down the stairs of the building.

You walked aimlessly for the whole night. You didn't want to go to your house. You didn't want to deal with what you just did. Because the moment you see Roger, you're gonna have to tell him what you did. And he's gonna hate you. And you deserve it.

It didn't come to you how much you wanted to stay with Roger until you realized you ruined everything.

Because, right before sunrise, you realized where your legs took you. Across town. To the pub where you first saw Roger.

It was closed - the building looked abandoned, empty.

You felt just like it.

But you deserve it.

So a cab passed through the streets and you got on it; the sun cleared your mind enough to remind you that you had a flight to catch in a few hours.

And once you got home, passing through your luggage on the corridor, you went to the bathroom and started to brush your hair, the hairdo falling off after sex and aimlessly walking for hours through the wind.

And once your hair moved closer to your face, you felt a different smell hit you. Drakkar. Cologne. Will. He left traces of him on you.

This made you drop the hairbrush, ripping your clothes off and running inside the bathtub. You felt dirty; you could feel Will's touch on your skin, his sweat mixing with yours, his breath on your face. You shivered at the memory of his tongue on yours.

You only turned on the hot water, and you rubbed your skin with the sponge until it was all red; you wanted to rip the skin off of you and let a new one grow in its place, one that was never touched by Will, one that belonged to a version of you that didn't cheat on Roger right before moving to another country.

The hot water stinged on your sensitive skin, but you revelled on the feeling. You deserved it.

You used an obscene amount of shampoo on your hair, making sure it smelled like you, not like another man.

Then you got off the bathtub and went straight to the sink, where you brushed your teeth with the same anger. You wanted every trace of Will off of you.