Queen of the Underworld | Book 3

• thirty-four •

//Song: Deep End -Ruelle (Maybe my favorite song related to this series.)

I dreaded going up the stairs and back to my room. Ever since our first night together, Julian and I shared my room, preferring to stay together. Being in his arms let me sleep deeper than I had in months. I loved waking up next to him in the morning.

I almost sighed with relief when I didn't see him. He was probably still talking to Damien. I took the opportunity to grab a change of sleeping clothes and take a shower.

As I stood under the running hot water, I couldn't push Leah's words out of my mind. More than anything, I knew she was absolutely right. If Asmo wouldn't be fair, then why should I?

He had decades of experience over me. He knew what he had to do to trap me. Why couldn't I use the bargain to my advantage instead of wallowing and crying over it? I could more than use it to my advantage.

Why trap me in a bargain in the first place? Why me? I thought back to what happened right before he spoke, right before the bargain was struck. He had been cool, level and understanding. He changed so abruptly I thought it would make my head spin. The careful image he had crafted himself around me was gone in an instant...at the mention of Julian.

At the casual mention of a romantic relationship with Julian. I was so stupid. Naïve and innocent and above all, stupid. "You are so stupid, Emmy."

I groaned and mumbled the words to myself over and over as I exited the shower, dried off and changed. I left the bathroom and exited through the door that led back to my room.

"I hope you're not talking that way about my girlfriend."

I couldn't help my smile as I found Julian. His arms were behind his head as he casually lounged across the large bed. His eyes were closed, his ankles crossed as he lay on the bed.

A small smile quirked his lip. "We have to have a talk if that's how you speak about her."

I crawled to the space next to him, finding the familiar comfortable spot under his arm. As soon as I placed my head on his shoulder, his arm came around and pulled me close. He placed a kiss on my head. "Everything okay?"

No. Nothing was. Instead of what I wanted to say, my voice spoke for me. "Everything's fine." I clasped my throat. Magic. It had to be. Something was preventing me from saying anything related to that stupid bargain.

Julian opened one eye and looked at me. Why did he look so handsome doing that? "Are you sure?"

I pushed myself up to meet my lips with his. "Yes. I'm sure."

I settled back into the crook his arm, my fingers running over his chest and stomach. "I didn't have a choice," I started. "I had to go."

"Hmm," he said as settled back to his comfortable position. "I'm sure he didn't make it easy." He sighed. "But I know better by now than to question or try to force you to do anything. I don't trust him but I do trust you and that is enough for me."

I could feel my heart shatter. I wanted to tell him, I really did. I opened my mouth but it shut on its own. I couldn't tell him anything about the bargain.

I exhaled slowly. "He told me my name. My real Fae name." I shrugged. "I never thought that Emylin wasn't my real name."

He squeezed my arm gently.

"It's Lyra Dawtree." The name still sounded foreign. Not mine. I didn't look at him. "My father was an ambassador, apparently. Have you heard of that name? Dawtree?"

Julian shook his head. "No. I wasn't involved with the Light Fae before-" He didn't finish.

I swallowed. "Asmo said it's why I survived. As Ambassador he may have been one of the first to know. I wonder if it was him or my mother that bound me to be human." I paused. "My human mother said I found her and Dad while I was walking in the woods when I was five or something. That I made them my human parents. I even bound them from having any children of their own." The thought still unnerved me. I still couldn't look my mother in the eye. I shook my head.