When We Drown~Finnick Odair {Book 1}

Chapter Twenty-One

•••

Autumn remembered the bright light she saw. She remembered the feeling of the water in her chest as she tried to cough it out but to no avail. She remembered the feeling of the hovercraft taking her out of the arena. She had seen the claw reach down and grab her right before she passed out.

She had just now awoken, blinding fluorescent lights above her eyes. She never understood why doctors did that to their unconscious patients, outing bright lights over their sleeping eyes. It was as if they were saying, 'welcome back to hell.' Considering Where Autumn woke up, that could be true.

She had awoken in a recovery room in the Capital. She knew she wasn't home due to the Capital insignia in the wall by the door.

If only she could've been that lucky to wake up at home. She dreaded the interview she would have to have that night. Autumn didn't want to think of the lives she took or Tyson's dead body in her arms. She didn't want to pretend to smile and laugh when she felt so empty.

Autumn reached for the chain around her neck that held the ring. She felt the smooth metal under her fingertips, glad to know that it hadn't been ripped away from her by the water.

Autumn would not have sat up if it wasn't for the lights blinding her, but it gave her a good view of the people who walked in and out of the room. Autumn's doctor had been gone for awhile which is why she was surprised to see the door opened. But her doctor did not walk in. Instead, it was the famous Finnick Odair.

He looked even worse than Autumn. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked like he had not eaten in a long time. Autumn had never seen the handsome victor in such a state as this.

When he saw her, his eyes brightened and he stood up straighter as if just seeing her alive gave him energy. He ran over to her and pulled her into a hug. She didn't wince at tight squeeze which made her bones ache, but she didn't hug back. Finnick backed away, staring at Autumn as if trying to read her.

"Tyson was supposed to live," Autumn seethed, her face blank. Finnick's face fell.

"Autumn-" Finnick tried to calm her.

"No," she cut him off. She stood up off the bed even though her legs screamed in response. She wobbled, but stood her ground. Finnick towered over her, but he was terrified by the look she gave him. "Tyson was supposed to live. No me."

"He wouldn't have made it," Finnick told her, sadly.

"I was going to make sure he made it," Autumn stepped toward him. "We were going to make sure he made it!" She yelled. A tear slipped down her cheek. "He was supposed to live! Not me!" Autumn broke down and began crying. Finnick wrapped his arms around her. This time, she accepted the hug. "He was so young." She spoke as she cried into his chest.

"I know, Autumn," Finnick rubbed her back. "I miss him too."

•••

Autumn begged Finnick to figure out a way where he could go on the interview with her, but Finnick swore that his hands were tied. Autumn could tell by his eyes that he wanted to go on the interview to protect her just as much as she wanted him too.

The interview was long and boring. Autumn spoke as little as she could. They had asked about Tyson, which Autumn waved off. She swore not to cry on camera, but she wouldn't try and hide her numbness.

It was that night (her last night in the Capital before returning to District Four) that Autumn heard the voices in her head. After she woke up from a nightmare about Tyson and Peter, she heard Tyson's screams in her head. They wouldn't leave her, no matter how hard she tried.

This was just the first sign of Autumn's mind becoming unhinged. She began to get visions every once in a while. Finnick began to blend into these visions and voices. Autumn would see Finnick die in a nightmare then hear his screams when she woke up. And that was all just one night.

She eventually crept out of her room and into Finnick's asking him if she could sleep with him that night. He agreed almost too quickly and let her under his covers. He held her against his warm body and suddenly the voices weren't so loud.

The sun finally rose over Panem and the Hunger Games were over for the year. Her games were one of the shortest ever, which many considered lucky. Including Caesar Flickerman when he talked with Autumn about it on the interview.

Finnick and Autumn ride home on the train together, both retiring for the year. Autumn was now the mentor for District Four. Thankfully, Finnick was the newest male victor so he and Autumn would be mentors together.

Finnick admitted how deeply he cared for Autumn and how much it had killed him to see her in the Games. Autumn admitted she cared about him too, but she was smart enough to know that she wasn't in a great mental condition to decide how she felt.

Finnick vowed that he would help her through the trauma, which Autumn was grateful for.

They shared a passionate kiss on the train as they entered the District Four station. The doors to the train then opened and Autumn realized that the rest of her life started now.