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You will never know how satisfying watching your own blood trail down your arm unless you've tried it.
I had a problem. I used to self-harm. I used to watch my own blood slowly but surely spill out of a cut that I had inflicted on myself. It was my freedom. I used to do it almost daily.
I stopped about a month ago. It was hard, but I tried so hard not to do it again. It worked,
But only for a while.
I fell
D
E
E
P
E
R
And
D
E
E
P
E
R
Into a hole I dug for myself. I started to believe that voice in my head once again. I made it
s t r o n g e r
and
s t r o n g e r
and soon I couldn't escape it. I shut it up the only way I knew how.
I did what it told me to do.
Die, it said, no one will miss you.
I don't want to die, though. I won't listen to that command just yet.
Hurt yourself then, you deserve it. You're just a fuck-up that's going to hell anyways, why not prepare yourself?
I listened.
One,
t w o,
t
h
r
e
e,
f
o
u
r,
f i v e.
Five cuts, dripping blood down my arm. Five cuts, and I'm distracted. Five cuts, and I'm okay for the time being.

I have a problem. I self-harm. I watch my own blood slowly but surely spill out of cuts that I inflict on myself. It is my freedom.

Help me.

10:02 PM, 4/2/19

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10:02 PM, 4/2/19

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