Loveseat Nights

9

tuesday, feb 9

My cousin Melanie from New York once told me that kissing is an art, with certain strokes here and there to improve the overall effect.

I asked her, “How do you know if you’re good or bad?”

She shrugged. “Ask.” Then she raised her eyebrows. “But I doubt you’re any good, your lips are too thin.”

This statement from my 19-year-old cousin has haunted me since the day she said it two years ago. When I ask Alyssa whether I’m a good kisser while we’re getting it on in the theater clothes department, she breaks away and gives me a funny look.

“Come on Adrien, don’t be silly” is all she says before kissing me again.

I’m a firm believer in preserving the sanctity of some words — kissing, for one, and also sorry — but I can’t help but try again.

“I’m just curious,” I say, pulling away. “What if all this time I’ve been a rotten one, and you’ve been trying to avoid my spit and tongue and I’m a huge jerk who thinks you’re being ‘passionate’ and—”

Alyssa leans in for more, whispering, “Shut up.”

“But really,” I mumble, but it comes out as “Bubrewy.”

She finally understands my desperation and stops. “You were perfectly fine before you started interrupting. Now shush and be a good boy.”

I smile goofily but keep my words to myself.

Melanie: 0. Ego: 1.

“Finkwell!” Mr. Dubais screeches, opening the door. He gives Ally a funny look. “Finkwell’s girlfriend! Please leave.”

We pull apart, Alyssa hurriedly grabbing her jacket and jogging out the room. Mr. Dubais has been wary of me since I joined the crew. I’m sure this incident isn’t helping any.

“Hold on a minute, Mr. Finkwell,” he says, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I gulp. “Yes, sir?”

“Mona Lieber tells me that you know a lot about the classics,” he says, frown lines melting away. For once, he looks...friendly.

I grit my teeth. “Only a couple.” And involuntarily.

He smiles — wait, smiles? I didn’t know it was physically possible for the old sourpuss to perform this particular facial function. “You’d be a great addition to our theater theory competitive team.”

I laugh at the idea of joining a theater theory team. Yup, that’s me, naming release dates left and right. “No, no, I’m not that well-informed. Really.”

Mr. Dubais frowns again. “It’s a good learning experience. There’s a huge lack of teenagers with knowledge of classic movie. This generation...” He says “generation” in a way that someone would speak about sodomy.

“Well, Mona Lieber isn’t exactly a reliable source.”

He laughs. “That’s sometimes true, but she really is a phenomenal girl.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why is she involved with the play?”

He widens his eyes. “She’s the President of Theater Theory club! Mona was the one who in fact began the group in freshman year; she had me as drama teacher. She was so excited about it, especially since her father was the one urging her to...” Mr. Dubais sighs like a balloon deflating. “It’s really a shame, what’s happened between her and her father. He was a huge contributor to the organization.”