Just keep swimming in the front discontinued

I had always drowned

Choking, desperated, tired, Skull has always been drowning no matter what he did.
He didn't seem like it thought, because outside he was cheerful, loud, arrogant, comforting, kind and childish, but in reality, he was simply drowning inside, and couldn't do anything else than that.

He didn't remember when he started to lose control of it, but the worst was that he didn't even know when it would come to an end.

All started from his birth, he was named Cherep by his lovely parents. Like any human he was a normal child and born in an average family.
They got along well together, his parents and him weren't on bad terms or anything, also, they had enough money to live and to make sure they had everything they needed.
He grew up healthy, had normal hobbies and dislikes like any child of his age.

But due to his lonesome personality he grew up being alone for most of the time.

Often, Cherep would be found reading instead of being outside, unless it was going out with his parents. He didn't have any friends to play before he started school, he was always home and playing on his own when his parents were busy.

Sometimes he would accidentally do something foolish and get scolded, but he was still loved by his parents.
They often told him he was a daydreamer while stroking his hair affectionately, because Cherep didn't pay much attention to his surrounding and was always in his thoughts.

So until then, he was swimming fine, even thought he had some difficulty swimming correctly, he could finally do it correctly.

But as he grew older, he didn't seem very happy with his lifestyle, he couldn't complain because he thought of what his parents said over and over again, that there were some people in the world that didn't have food, a house or even clothes, so he had to be happy with what he had.
Of course Cherep understood that he was very lucky to have everything he needed, clothes to wear, delicious food to eat, warm house that protected them from the cold winter, rain and hot days.

But he didn't appear to be happy even with what he had. So, he woke up every morning lying and degrading himself. Saying, that he had everything but still wanted more was selfish of his part, so he never really asked for more than he needed.

The reason why he felt like that was because something was missing but didn't know what. It was like swimming in cold water, without knowing where you were going.

He wasn't a spoiled child on the contrary he rarely asked anything to his parents and was pretty modest on the way he spend his money. So, every time his parents asked what he wanted for his birthday or Christmas, he said he didn't know or didn't want anything and that was the end of the talk.
However there was one time where his grandmother heard what he said, she then cut their conversation and said:

"You're just spoiled anyway! Oh just by looking at those new generations kids....." his grandmother scolded harshly at Cherep before continuing her talk.

That time he just was shocked internally, it was wasn't the first time his grandmother would be talking like that but this time her tone was rash toward him.

'Why would I be spoiled?' He thought angrily while being frustrated on the way she said it, but decided to stay silent in the end as he let his grandmother say whatever she thought. But still he couldn't help but think about it, daydream and look into his memory to see if he was really spoiled.

"You know at your time I didn't have all this luxury, this generation knows nothing of what we elder endured!...." his grandmother started to ramble about her past memories again.

'!!!.....How irritating....but annoyingly true..' Cherep thought as he lowered his head.

That was the first time he started to feel like his swimming was out of control but it was all right, he regained his normal posture and continued to swim.