Harry Potter and the secret Past

Freak

Harry just wanted to be left alone. Never had he felt so miserable, so lost. He knew all hope had gone. Snape had actually cared. Yes, he's annoying at times and strict over stupid things and he had yelled at Harry lots and took many house points, but he had been he first one in Harry's life to actually care and have a chance to change things. He knew Snape wasn't like the nosy neighbours that would listen to anything Aunt petunia would say. No Snape would see right through her lies. But he also couldn't let Snape know he truth. Dumbledore was right. He would just disappoint the man. And the Dursley's weren't that bad. Yes they were strict and stuff, but Harry did not doubt that he deserved the harsh treatment. He wasn't normal, he wasn't natural and he just got everyone hurt.

He wished Madam Pomfrey would just leave him alone. Didn't the women realise freaks didn't deserve attention from kind people? The nice matron had tried to cheer him up as he lay dejectedly in his bed but it just made him feel worse. He didn't deserve this. Freaks weren't allowed to play games why did this women keep trying to make him. Was she trying to get Harry into trouble? Dudley has done that many a times, Harry would not fall for it again. He shook his head frantically, searching the unfamiliar room for signs of his aunt and uncle. Surely they would know, they would see, and then they would come and punish him. No no no please I'll be good Harry thought. He just didn't understand why this women was trying to get him in trouble.
And then the food came. Harry wasn't going to fall for such a trick. Freaks weren't allowed food. Specially not this nice steaming stew. But once again, the strange women before him tried to make him. Harry clamped his mouth shut. Uncle vernon would know, and he would hurt Harry. Oh he would hurt him so much. Panic gripped him, causing his stomach to lurch. He would be beaten again, burned, chucked outside like a dog. Or maybe uncle vernon would be forced to teach Harry a stronger lesson, because he was so bad. Harry bet his uncle had already invited his friends over and then they would all... and then th-they w-would-

Harry retched. The little food he had eaten earlier in the day splattered over the crisp white hospital bed sheets. Oh harry was in for it now. He had been so bad, he was so much trouble. Freaks were supposed to clean up mess not create the mess. Harry couldn't stop himself from shaking, tears forming in his eyes. But he would not let them fall. No Harry new better than that. He continued to vomit up everything he had until he was dry heaving, barely registering madam Pomfrey's comforting presence. He didn't deserve comfort. He had been so bad.

Trembling uncontrollably, the little boy tried in vain to wipe at he spoiled bed sheets. He could here soft words spoken to him but he couldn't determine what had been said, too blinded by fear. Suddenly, he felt a wave of heat wash over him and his eyes became heavy. He fought to remain conscious but he had no strength left. As he let the darkness surround him he wondered on how bad his punishment would be.

*****
Slowly, Harry drifted awake. His head pounded and his stomach churned. The women was there again. Speaking. Was she speaking to him?
Harry ignored her, hardly even realising she was talking. He was so bad. He was a freak, a good for nothing whelp that wouldn't learn his lesson. How harry wishes he could just be good.
He no longer new where he was. Had aunt petunia and uncle vernon left him? Had they finally given up on their burden of a nephew. Surely they wouldn't want to put up with him anymore.
A sudden thought then hit him. Hit him like a tonne of bricks in the gut as fear clenched at him again. He wasn't allowed to be on a bed. He shot up in panic. Looking around he found himself alone in the large room. He felt a weight pinning him to his bed. Oh no he was trapped. Suddenly he couldn't breathe as memories flooded his mind, clouding his vision. He needed out and he needed out now.
With all his might, Harry pushed at the invisible force, breaking through in no time. Panting harshly, Harry didn't stop and think. There was no where to hide here, he was out in the open, he would be seen, they would get him. He ran as fast as his little legs would take him and wrenched at the handle. It wouldn't open. Harry could feel tingles run up his arm as he yanked at the handle, but paid them no mind. He needed OUT!
The door clicked open, and Harry ran full pelt down the unknown corridor. He couldn't remember a thing. All he knew was that he was freak. They would be coming after him for sure, now he had been so bad. What was he thinking, lying on a bed. A shiver ran through him, even as he ran blindly though corridors and stair cases.
He couldn't stand this anymore, he was too scared, to exhausted. He seemed to running in circles, everywhere looked the same. He wanted his cupboard. He wanted to bury himself at the back of his cupboard and pretend he didn't exist. He wanted to ignore the world as they ignored him. He flung open the small door he spotted and found himself in his cupboard.
Finally he was safe. He was where he was supposed to be. He knew his uncle would find him here, but he knew he deserved the punishment. After all his uncle only wanted him to get better, to stop being so bad. He was helping Harry really. It was good that it hurt. It reminded Harry of all he had done. He was such an unnatural freak.
Despite knowing he deserved a brutal punishment, he couldn't help his fear, he couldn't catch his breath, he couldn't steady his hands, he didn't want to think anymore, he didn't want to feel. He drew his legs up to his chest and buried his head. He started to rock himself, slowly, the only form of comfort he had ever known. If he scrunched his eyes shut really hard, he could almost imagine arms wrapped around him, rocking with him, like a parent would to comfort their child.