Poetry Book Reviews

Review #4: Inside of Me

So these are just suggestions. I hope you enjoy my review of your poetry WritingRandom165

Paper Airplanes: Maybe put a comma between laughing and bullying. Very valuable meaning behind this poem. The rhyming was great. A really good poem to start with this review.

Mixed Emotions: Maybe put a comma between laughing and good. Now the rhyming was great until the last line. Seemed a bit off. I like the very first line talking about the colors. I feel like emotions can be described very well through colors. I like the line "I am broken and so are you".

Dirt: The last line hit hard. As always rhyming it great. The last line though was very good and hit me right in the feels because this is relatable for anyone that has bad depression or insecurities.

I Am (Song): Love the use of the word perilous. Honestly I'm dumb and didn't realize that it was actually a song. I actually love reading songs. I like the second stanza using past tense and present tense. Saying that you were and still are like this. I'd love to hear this with actual music behind it. I think it would be a rock song to be honest.

Individuality Isn't A Crime: First two lines are already something that I can relate to. Ahhh rhyming again. This poem is very true and I wish the world wasn't like this. Unfortunately it always will be and some people don't have thick enough skin to deal with it. Very beautiful perspective.

Scandal: "And it took too long" Ending was depressing as it should be. I wonder if these are just perspectives or if you yourself actually feel this way.

Ping Pong Balls: "When they hear the sound boom" This poem was peculiar but a little refreshing from the devastation that happened in the other poems.

It's Like A Dog With A Bone: Ahhh I love the use of quid pro quo. Both yours should be changed to you're. Kapeashe should probably be in a separate line. There should be their. I liked this one. I've written something very similar to this actually comparing myself to the dog. I absolutely loved this poem.

The Dark Place: Since you are rhyming the endings of three consecutive lines, I suggest separating them into tercets. Yeah I think that'd be the best option because every three lines there's a shift in motion. There should be their. So I like the topic of the poem. I don't see many poems talking about the Holocaust anymore and it's refreshing to see someone still talking about it.

The Moon Needs the Sun: The second line is peculiar. I think maybe there is a word missing. But maybe that's how you wrote it. Maybe put need you in there. After said maybe put a comma. So I can relate to this poem since I just recently went through a breakup in May. I feel you when you mention how the person made you a mess and how you're glad that you guys are through. The last line hit really hard. I think this is my favorite poem of yours. I really truly loved this one.

Died to Love: Maybe take the comma out after must in the fourth line. Instead, put a comma between the two lives. What a beautiful last line.

It Was A Selfish Mistake: Now I know that this is about suicide. Suicide is not a selfish thing in my opinion, but it is the wrong way to go. Now I know you are probably depressed and I hope one day that you will get the help that you need because honestly you are a beautiful person inside out. I know you are struggling and I always see it in your announcements. I am always here if you need someone to talk to.

9/11: Now did you actually experience this? I loved the rhyme by the way.

Unbelievable: Wow this entire poem was just wow. Like I have nothing to really say except that it put me in my feels to be honest.

It's About What I Need: I completely agree with you in this poem. That's what I needed in my old relationship. Very very relatable poem.

Pig: Care is missing the e. This poem is very good as well. Bullying seems to be a big topic for you. I like that you added that he had spice and people don't like that so they called him a pig.

Overall, your poetry is very good and you can see it developing well over time. You just need to scan through the poems every once in a while to see if you made any mistakes grammar and punctuation wise. The topics that you chose to write about are very hot and powerful right now. They should be talked about and you hit them on the nose with your poetry. Once again, very good poetry. It is definitely developing and getting better as time progresses. My favorite poems were about heartbreak. You really hit the spot when you write about heartbreak. Keep rhyming, my friend!